Dr. Drew: Sex (Ed).... with Mom and Dad..

I was flipping through the list of recorded shows on our DVR and came across a show with an odd title: "Sex with Mom and Dad". I flipped the screen off and yelled to Cathie, "Did you tape anything with, an, um, odd sounding title?" Apparently, she had.

She had seen Dr. Drew on some morning show talking about the show, which he claims he did not choose the name for. He encourages parents to watch the show to get a handle on what is happening sexually in the lives of teenagers these days.

Cathie and I sat down and watched the show yesterday and it was very interesting. The episode involved a single-Dad and his 19 year old daughter where the daughter was extremely promiscuous, had recently had a flight with her Dad's co-worker, resulting in some major obstacles in the father/daughter relationship. In reality-show style, they were both interviewed about where they were at, and then they met with Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew talked to them about where they were at, the barriers in their relationship, did some analaysis and gave them some exercises to go through. I'm in no way endorsing Dr. Drew's views on sex, but the show does have some real value:

1. It shows some of the consequences of sexual activity for teenagers in terms of their future relationships, their soul, disease, pregnancy, etc. Dr. Drew doesn't focus on this, but he shows the causal at a high level as he looks at the damage in the kids lives and the parents lives.
   
2. It shows the impact the relationship with their parents, and it shows how bad parenting can drive kids to some of this behavior.
3. It points out how badly parents and kids need to talk about this stuff, not avoid it. Parents seem to think if they talk to their kids about it, it will increase their level of activity. Studies show that just the opposite occurs.
   
4. It shows other parents and kids going through the uncomfortable conversations with their kids and living to tell about it, and ending up better for it.

The show's not for everyone. None of my kids are old enough to watch the show yet, but it would be a good conversation starter for kids in the 7th/8th/9th grade range.

Stick it where?

I just received a voice mail from a friend (who shall remain nameless) telling an amusing "What I meant to say" story (of which he reminded me that I have several of my own):
He had two Mormon missionaries at his house, sitting at his table. What he meant to say was,

"Could you stick that rotten banana down the garbage disposal?"

What he instead said was:

"Could you stick that banana in the glory hole?"

Great Response from a Hobo

Hobo: Any change? Anything you got to give?
Suit: I wish I had something to give, but pretty soon, I'm going to be like you.
Hobo: My man, you cannot be this awesome.

-From Overheard in New York

Love your Enemies

At Monday's youth group meeting we talked about enemies. We looked at Jesus's words in Matthew 5:

44But I tell you: Love your enemies[i] and pray for those who persecute you, 45that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

As we broke into small groups, Michael made an off-hand comment that the leaders could participate in the exercise we were doing. As a small group, we looked at naming our enemies, went through how we typically treat them, and then looked at how followers of Jesus treat our enemies. I had a tough time coming up with an enemy to put down on the piece of paper. Apparently, I'm a pretty good guy... Or not.

Over the past few days, I've been dealing with someone at work that I would probably now have to label as an enemy, and this whole topic has been stuck in my head. I've been forced to think through the list that I went through with the kids about how I typically treat enemies, and then look at what what I'm called to do. This sucks. But I'm glad it's going on. Funny how this stuff works and how the Holy Sprit works in my life to continue uncover parts of me that aren't congruent who I claim to be as a disciple of Jesus. I'm having to humble myself (no small task), really look at my behavior and go back to this person and apologize and make things right. Fun.

Seven Stanzas at Easter

Make no mistake: if He rose at all
it was as His body;
if the cells' dissolution did not reverse, the molecules
reknit, the amino acids rekindle,
the Church will fall.

It was not as the flowers,
each soft Spring recurrent;
it was not as His Spirit in the mouths and fuddled
eyes of the eleven apostles;
it was as His Flesh: ours.

The same hinged thumbs and toes,
the same valved heart
that — pierced — died, withered, paused, and then
regathered out of enduring Might
new strength to enclose.

Let us not mock God with metaphor,
analogy, sidestepping transcendence;
making of the event a parable, a sign painted in the
faded credulity of earlier ages:
let us walk through the door.

The stone is rolled back, not papier-mache,
not a stone in a story,
but the vast rock of materiality that in the slow
grinding of time will eclipse for each of us
the wide light of day.

And if we will have an angel at the tomb,
make it a real angel,
weighty with Max Planck's quanta, vivid with hair,
opaque in the dawn light, robed in real linen
spun on a definite loom.

Let us not seek to make it less monstrous,
for our own convenience, our own sense of beauty,
lest, awakened in one unthinkable hour, we are
embarrassed by the miracle,
and crushed by remonstrance.
--John Updike

Nitro Circus

The show Nitro Circus has quickly become one of my favorite shows on MTV. The show is a documentary type show, with a group of buddies doing crazy stuff. I's produced by the guys from Jackass, but without the gross stuff, at least not yet. The guys in the show are all extreme sports junkies and semi-pro BMXers, Mountain Bikers, Base Jumpers, etc. Their stunts are at a whole other level beyond Jackass and they actually complete the stuff, like the big-wheel flip below. Prior to showing this, the guys were back-flipping everything you can imagine: scooters, bikes, golf carts and bikes.

One part of the show starts with a guy launching himself out of a plane without a parachute. No setup explaining how dangerous it is, or how many ways he'll die. Just a dude going out of a plane without a chute. My kinda guys. My kinda show.

Buy this Disc

You gotta check out this CD. First, it's a really great disc. Buy it. Worst case, you hate it and help support the adoption of a baby from Ethiopia. I ordered it because I like Phil and his singing, but had no idea about the disc. For all I knew, it could have been him reciting dirty limericks to the music of the chicken dance, or him doing spoken word about his dream of buying an RV and touring America with Screech from Saved by the Bell. I've listened to it 4 times and really like it. I have no great music review, because I am devoid of that kind of original thought.

When I bought my copy, I requested it to be personalized, which Phil did with the following inscription: "To Super Dave, may all your dreams come true".

We've had the Phil Wing band as the worship band at Velocity over the past two years, which is where I've gotten to know them. Aside from sharing my love of gold bond medicated powder and having a band member (Joe) with 12 toes, the band is great musically, their great to hang out with (one of the few bands that actually hang with the kids and leadres at the camp they're working at) and have this deep love of God that leaks out of their pores (this is a good thing, not a weird skin condition).

If you check the Phil Wing media site, you can see this amazing picture of me, and Joe and his 12 toes. This is probably the best possible part of the web site. Oh yeah, you can listen to the album there too.

My bro/sis-in-law Ed & Stacy happen to live about two miles from the church Phil works at. If Phil's church did door-to-door Jehovah's witness stuff, I'd sign them up for an early morning visit, like someone signed me up recently. Maybe I can ask Phil and his band to show up on their doorstep like a Mariachi band, playing early Sunday morning. The whole, "If you can't bring the mohammad to the mountain, bring the mountain to mohammad" kind of thing. (I actually have no idea what that saying means).

My Apple Store Run and 3 seconds of fame

I figured out Monday night that I'd forgotten my laptop power supply. I went online and saw that the apple store in manhattan is open 24 hours, which amazed me. The apple store is this amazing cube on top and giant store underneath.


I figured I could hold off until Tuesday morning, so I got up and ran over to Central Park and then the Apple Store, less than a mile away. It's cool to walk around Manhattan with everything going on. There are a million people and a million cabs, all in their own world, all with their own stories. Just walking around there you feel connected to something larger, a part of this weird energy that makes it New York.

On my way back, I walked by Good Morning America where people were crowded, apparently Maddie's favorite group (slowly waning as her favorite), the Jonas Brothers had played that morning. I kept going past the Today Show where they were getting ready to tape a live outdoor segment.

I stood around the gate as the camera panned, waving, like "that guy" as I watched myself in the live feed they were showing of the Today Show. I was on TV for at least 3 seconds.

You can see Matt Lauer and whoever else is on the show in this picture as they're taping. The crowds were thin, as they were everywhere in New York City. My hotel, the Times square doubletree, which I've had cost as much as $450, was $135. Things are cheaper everywhere in NY.

My Man Date with Ken

My friend Ken Buck, from the other side of the tracks in the Camden, NJ area, took the train into Manhattan to meet me for dinner on Monday night. I've known Ken for about 10 years through our mutual love of youth ministry. We connected after a 4am multi-golf cart chase through a college campus that involved two cases of whipper-snapper fireworks. Great story.

We wandered mid-town for a while trying to figure out where to eat, heading towards the area that we wanted to hang, over by 52nd and 8th ave. We wandered by this Italian hole-in-the-wall place called the Pepe Rosso Osteria. It was cheap and had a cool look, so we went there for dinner and had a great meal.

We had an odd conversation about the governance structure of the prebytary, Calvinism and spiritual formation. Ken is getting his masters in divinity, or something like that. He has a passion for urban church planting and having odd roomates, like Chris Sloan, a beatnik bass player. As our worlds have met, Ken has gotten to know friends and co-workers of mine (Bill Belanger, Will Brown, etc), and developed a series of odd mutual friends over the years who are some of the funniest people you'll ever meet (Jason Shinn, Mike Dicurci, etc). As a crazy socialist liberal, Ken has gotten to know my family via e-mail and Facebook and is trying to find a way to get to one of our family events this summer to meet them.

We wandered around for a while and wandered by the Ed Sullivan theatre (my brother Jon's comment on this picture "Wow are the hookers in NY getting ugly." Apparently the hookers that Jon is familiar with are much better looking than Ken.)

When I asked on Facebook for reccomendations of great places in mid-town to eat, my Dan reccomended his favorite place Sbarros. We got this picture for his "Sbarro's around the world" picture collection. The store-fronts in times square are full of some pretty odd things, including these giant action figures.

After wandering, we went over to The Russian Samovar over by 52nd between Broadway and 8th. I'd been there once before, but Ken hadn't. It's full of first generation Russians/Ukranians and serves these crazy infused vodkas that are awesome. Ken and I sat at the bar and hung there for 4 or 5 hours. We got to know the bouncer and the bartender, but from the Ukraine. The bartender had just gotten an iPhone and I was showing her how to use it to get some of the Russian apps when we started playing with Google Earth. The bouncer jumped in and started showing Ken and I where he lived via Google Earth, including his house, apartment and boat. He explained that he lives in the US 6 months and works like a dog. He returns to Odessa and lives like a king. Via Google Earth he was not only able to show us the view from above of his place, but also his place from pictures that had been geotag'd. He invited Ken and I over to visit and was very sincere and hospitable. Ken and I figured that the worst thing that could go wrong was that we'd be sold into the white-slavery sex trade.

The vodka was awesome, but the people really great. We met another gal there, Lalita, who was also Russian. She had some crazy stories about Bella Carolli and meeting the Yankees. She knew sports better than any first generation russian woman that I know and was more opinionated about them than any man I know.

That's one of the things I love about hanging with Ken.

I'm pretty sure Ken and I could be the new Norm and Cliff at this place if we lived closer. By the time we left, we had people buying us drinks and the bartender was comping us for helping her with her iPhone.

We hung around Times Square and after taking this very questionable picture of the two fo us, we struck up a conversation with some odd people and then got some midnight food from a street vendor. Note to self: Don't buy chicken from a street vendor... I'm not sure it was completely cooked. Anyways, it's always a good time with Mr. Buck Wild.

Daddy Daughter Dance

On Friday night, the girls and I went to our annual valentine's Daddy/Daughter dance. We got dressed up and went out for our big night. Each year, the girls help me pick out my outfit. For the past two years, the girls had picked out the exact same outfit for me (which we figured out after looking at the pictures we had taken) This year I was determined not to repeat that mistake.

We went to Brown's for dinner where Emily had her standard giant hot dog for dinner. We got to the school where the dancing had already begun.

This whole event never stops being funny to me. You have a couple hundred rhythm-less white men in a room who wouldn't be caught dead dancing unless they'd consumed a fair amount of alcohol. Because they are there with their little girls, we are all willing to look goofy for their girls. We do all the standard wedding dances like The Chicken Dance, the Macarena and the YMCA, not to mention a time when they have all the Dad's get in the middle and run into each other while trying to do the hustle.

It was a fun time. The girls and I went with Mark Kohne and his daughter Maddie, who has been 13 years in a row with his girls. They used to have this back-to-back nights, and Mark used to take a daughter to each night. Now that's love.

Mayes Family Visit

Kevin and Susan and the kids came down on Saturday afternoon to hang out. It started with Kevin and the boys coming down to see Nate's wrestling tournament on Sunday and turned into a multi-day whole-family (almost) gathering.

Susan started by showing us the great deal she'd gotten on a jacket for her and Kevin. It turns out that it was a little similar to another jacket she'd seen before (mine). My sister was also proud that she is able to constantly match outfits with Allie, as they wore the exact same shirt. She claims it's always a coincidence, but Allie and I disagree.

Ben was the most amusing part of the whole visit. At one point I saw the front door open and looked outside. I saw Bender running around in the snow without a shirt on, wearing Susan's big clunky amish shoes, going to get something from the car.

Susan bought Cathie this super-cool shirt to help cathie communicate her love for LOLs in her comments on Facebook.

The kids had a blast playing together. Everyone got along great.


On Saturday night, Dan, Kris, Cathie and I and Kevin and Susan all went out for dinner for Valentines Day. We went to the Korean BBQ in Novi, which Dan loves. He and Noel share in common the fact that they both love Korean stuff more than any other Caucasian men I've ever met. The food was so-so, but Dan did all the cooking for us. Susan and Cathie each found about a thimble full of food that they actuall liked. We went over to the Irish Pub and all orderd Pints in honor of Will (Will believes that he is actually transported to Ireland everytime he steps into an Irish Pub. In Ireland if you order a Pint, they will bring you a pint of Guiness. Will will ask for a Pint and act indignant when the waitress doesn't know what he wants. The follow up question is always, "A pint of what?" to which we all laugh hysterically as Will follows it up with, "Actually, in Ireland...." The waitress typically spits in Will's beer for his condesending additude.)

My sister Susan spent most of her time with us on Facebook or napping. In each of these pictures, one of the kids is begging her to spend time with them, but Susan's response is, "Not now! Mommy is facebooking!"

We got up Sunday morning to go to the wrestling meet. The tournament was held at the U of M Indoor Track, hosted by the Junior Wolverine Wrestling Club. The place was packed without a place to stand or sit. The whole thing was a debacle. The place was packed and started almost an hour and a half late to begin with. Five matches in, they announced that the fire marshall said that half of the people needed to leave the event because of over-crowding. They annoucned that only coaches and kids could stay in the building, which was ridiculous. The only place to go was the parking lot. Just before Nate was ready to wrestle his first match, they annoucned that half the tournament was being post-poned until 3:00 (3 1/2 hours later). We got our money back (at least for the admission), left and headed to BW3s. What's even funnier is that the tournament last week at MSU was bigger, better and went off without a hitch. It just goes to prove what they say: Nothing good comes out of Ann Arbor.

My Sister Loves Cats!

My cat hates everybody equally - except Susan. He somehow senses Susan's fear and hatred of my cat and spends as much time around her as possible. Over the weekend, I think the two of them really bonded. It might have had something to do with her constantly kissing my cat on the mouth:

Or of her cleaning off his dingleberries.

Or of her putting her classes on his tail. She thought this was the funniest thing ever - enough so that she took three or four pictures of it.

Bender and the Animals

Due to "allergies", Susan and Kevin don't allow their kids to have pets. When Ben comes to visit, he's in heaven with our two dogs and a cat. Lola, our puppy, is like a hairy version of Ben's cousin Matthew. He followed them around, fed them and played with all three animals non-stop.

When he first got there, I gave him a couple of these dog treats to give to Riley and Lola. He quickly asked for another one, which he quickly ate. I offered him some Gummi Bears, to which he instead asked for more dog treats. At one point, he ate one of the cat treats. He didn't like them as much, saying there was something nasty in the middle of it that tasted yucky.

In the end, the animals all seemed to like him, maybe just because he constantly gave them treats. I'm not sure they dug being taken for "walks" around the house, complete with their leash.

I was just impressed that our cat didn't bit him. I think Rascal was too busy loving on Susan.

Cathie's Wal-Mart Brawl

Last night as Cathie and I were watching Best Week Ever, they showed a clip for this hidden camera show that put people around awkward situations to see how they react. They showed a scene in a coffee shop where a woman chewed out her nanny in front of everyone and watched how strangers stepped in.

While we watched this, Cathie stopped and asked, "Did I tell you what happened in Wal-Mart last week?" She proceeded to tell me a great story.

Cathie was in Wal-Mart grocery shopping and happened to see a Mom screaming and shaking her 3 year old (not uncommon for Wal-Mart). Cathie went up to the woman and nicely said, "Hey, it looks like you're having a rough day. You might want to tape a break for a second."

The woman quickly responded back to Cathie, "You need to get the F$#$ out of my face."

Cathie came back and explained, "It's not okay for you to scream at and shake you child like that."

The Woman's response again, "You need to get the F$#$ out of my face"

Cathie said, "I can get store security over here if you're going to keep it up."

The Woman's response again, "You need to get the F$#$ out of my face"

I couldn't believe my wife forgot to tell me the a story about a near cat-fight at Wal-Mart, especially one so blog-worthy.

Maddie is the Safety Captain

Maddie was elected by her peers as the Safety Captain for the 5th Grade safety patrol. Her duties include overseeing all of the safetys, selecting them for the right jobs, making sure they do their jobs and working with the teacher who oversees the safetys to ensure the kids are staying safe and doing their job.

She does not get to carry a gun or taser with this job, but gets to carry a clipboard and give demerits or merits based on job performance. I'm going to have a talk with Maddie about how "Absolute power corrupts, absolutely."

We're very proud of what a great leader Maddie is and the fact that this was recognized by her peers as they voted her into this job. They announced it today at the all school gathering today and Maddie gets to wear a special badge (the triangle on her safety belt) that says, "Captain - Safety Patrol".

Going Blind

One of the nose-pads on Emily's glasses came off and I was working with her to replace it. We couldn't get it quite right and she was getting tired of the repeated attempts. I told her we needed to get it right, otherwise she wouldn't be able to see in school tomorrow. Her response:

Emily: "That's ok. If I'm blind they'll get me a seeing eye dog."

Pipl

I've been playing around with Pipl. It's a pretty amazing people search tool. It looks across blogs, photo sites, social networking sites and white pages to give the most comprehensive people search results I've seen. Check out these results on me.

Winged Suit Base Jump

I received this video from my Dad and from Will's Dad. I would love to take a couple of weeks to travel to Europe and learn how to do this.

Mall Maddness

I'm pretty sure that at some point, Jesus said, "Greater love has no Mom than she who goes to a lock in at a mall with a bunch of ten year old girls." For the second year in a row, Cathie and a bunch of Moms took the Girl Scout troop down to lovely Taylor, MI to a mall for an overnight. They left the house about 8pm and got back in around 5AM. The Mom's would mark a spot and hang while the girls were locked in the mall, able to shot all night at the stores.

Maddie and her friend Maddie had been planning this for weeks. They were especially bummed when Maddie #2 re-hurt her toe and ended up having to be wheel-chaired around. When I saw Maddie this morning, she took me through her collection of "stuff" that she bought, but there was no cool hat like this one that Maddie Kohne bought for her Mom. Diana makes it look cool.

Cathie and Maddie rose from the dead about 11:30 this morning and we've had a pretty lazy day around the house. My big plans were to go running, update my blog and take down the lights. I accomplished 2/3rds of it.

Em's Dance

Emily and Cathie watched the movie Another Cinderella Story and Em decided she wanted to be a hip-hop dancer. She challenged Cathie to a hip-hop dance-off and this is Em's side of the competition:


We sat around today looking at videos and laughed pretty hard at these, including this one of when Emily setup a stand and charged people a quarter for a song. This is where she sung the song, this is where she yelled at Nate for taking too many snacks during the song. This one where she broke into song on her first airplane ride was pretty amusing as well.

Nate's Wrestling Tournament

We left around 7am yesterday to head up to Burton, MI (Where??) for a tournament at Bendle High School. We weighed in around 8am and then sat around for about four hours waiting to wrestle. Bruce and Brian Green were there as well, so we all went out for breakfast while we waited. Nate got pinned in his first round against a guy who was really good. His coach sat down with him afterward and showed him how to work against the headlock and in Nate's next round he used the same move on the other kid. Nate pinned him in 46 seconds. He ended up taking second place. Here's a video of his pin:



You can see Brian's pin here.

Em and Hell

Em, Nate and I went to church last night. I'd forgotten that our children's ministry is in the middle of a 3 week break, so the kids hung in church with me during the message. During part of it, Em was sitting on my lap as Joe preached. We had this conversation:

Em: "Awww! Dad! Pastor Joe said Hell!"
Me: "He's talking about the place called Hell."
Em: "Awww! Dad, you just said a bad word too."
Me: "Em. He's not using in a bad way. That's what makes it a bad word."
Em: (Oblivious to what I just said): "Awwww! Dad, he just said it again!"

Taken

Will and I went to see the movie Taken last night as part of our "man-date". The movie is about a Dad (who happens to be an ex-special-forces type guy) whose daughter gets kidnapped and sold into white slavery. The Dad goes to every possible length to rescue his daughter, taking no prisoners and risking his life and going to the edge to get his daughter back.

It was a good action flick, but that wasn't what made it such a good movie. The movie touches something at a deep level for me as a Dad. Watching the movie, I think almost every Dad (given the same abilities) would do the the same thing. There's something at a gut level that made me root for the guy and connect with the whole story beyond just the action. It also taught me a few other things, like the fact that the French turn a blind eye to white slavery and are mostly corrupt, and all on the take.

I think there's something else in this story that is wired into us. Seeing a Dad go to any length possible to save their child from destruction reminded me of the length God was willing to go to in order to rescue us. Will reminded me that God would never hook electrodes to someone in torture, but that God would go to the same length of giving up his power, descending to earth and sacrificing himself (in Jesus) to rescue me.

Are All Apple Users Messed Up?

Some might say that this part of the article explains why Noel defends and loves Apple more religiously than he defends gravity:

What amazes me about these ads is that they appealed to and “worked” on an audience many people perceived as cynical about this sort of manipulation. Apple, having been a minority share-holder in the market branded themselves as aloof outsiders, swimming upstream in a culture of conformists. But in all reality, those of us who have fallen for this campaign are the worst offenders. I would even argue the use of Apple products, to some degree, mark us as the most insecure about our identities.

Apple products are defended with near-religious zest. But in our zest are we defending a company or our own identites? Perhaps what we’ve been offered is a brand to associate ourselves with, a brand that triggers our survival instincts, revealing we don’t believe we have enough to survive without this association? Perhaps the use of Apple products reveals insecurity more than it reveals confidence.

I say that it doesn't. I would say that there are much deeper issues around why Noel loves Apple. I say that this line from the article describes it much better:

If you use Apple computers, you are more likely to get laid.

I'm watching you, Dad

Eli sent me this video. Wow. It's narrated by a young boy, talking about everything he notices that his Dad does and the impact of those things on him.

It reminds me of how much who I am today as a Dad, a man, and a parent came from watching my Dad live his life. My Dad was so consistent in what he believed, what he said and how he lived his life. Believe me, I was watching for any inconsistencies I could find. I want to be the kind of Dad and man that my Dad is and be that same kind of example to my kids.

Kirk Vickers is almost as tough as me

I was back at Triad for the 6am workout this week for the first time in a couple of months. We had an interesting workout where we played lightening (the basketball game where you do lots of sprinting, especially when you can't make a shot like me). The game itself would last 2-3 minutes and based on the order you got out, you'd immediately have to do the exercise of choice. Last place would do 5x the exercise of 1st place.

We would do bear crawls, push ups, dips, box pushes and one especially grueling exercise on the treadmill. We put the treadmill up to a full 15 degree incline and would run backwards on it for a period of time. I was out first, so I had to do this for 1m 30s. Sounds easy, right? I made it to about 1m 15s before I had to pause for a second before finishing my time. Kirk (the owner of Triad) mocked me for being a runner and not being able to do something as simple as run backwards for a couple of minutes. He stepped up and I declared that he would be officially even tougher than me (he's old, 50) if he could make it the whole 1m 30s. He ended up falling off at about 1m 20s in a way that made us all cringe. At his age, you can break a hip when you fall.

Unfortunately, Kirk is officially not as tough as me. (Kirk used to be an amateur boxer, but again, he's old and slow now, so I don't factor in the fact that he can pound on me, because I can run faster)

Motivating Poster