Picture in Need of a Caption

Bender and Lola

My nephew Bender is a big fan of our dogs - particularly Lola (or "Yola" as Ben calls her). He'll carry Lola around, play with her and take her for walks. I think Ben is helping Lola and Rile appreciate Emily's "over loving" a little more.

These girls are way two tents

Maddie and Maddie learned how to make a tee-pee at girl scout camp last week and figured they'd put it to the test in our back yard. With the help of Em, they made a pretty cool tee-pee, but haven't slept in it yet.

15th Annual Memorial Day Party

We had our 15th annual Memorial Day bash. It started about 15 years ago with the Heikkinen's and Thompsons out at Kensington and grew from there. We had a slew of people, over fifty at different times. I made sure that I clearly labeled everything in the garage to make sure that everything was nice and easy to find. The party started at and ended after midnight.

The weather was perfect. We all hung out in the back yard and the kids jumped on the trampoline. You'll find this hard to believe, but Jon did not make one kid cry on the trampoline the entire day. It probably had something to do with the fact that he was banned from it.

Dan, Jon and my Dad misread the invite and thought it meant they had to buy the exact same sandals and wear them. Rice Crispy treats seemed to be all the rage this year. Jon's were perfectly made in terms of overall levelness while Susan's emphasized the use (or overuse) of marshmallows and not killing Gabe through his food allergies.

The cousins and kids all had a blast playing together. The nieces and newphews are mostly at that age (except for Reagan) where they can take care of themselves wheile we hang out. Very nice.

The game was on at 3, so we headed inside to watch the game. Kevin got his nap in, of course.

I'm pretty sure that people continued to be impressed by my iPhone, especially Katie Green, who always seems to be asking about it.. I used the Remote iTunes App with it's DJ features to control the music for the event. That never stops being impressive to me.

Dan was kind enough to handle the weiners for the event. He also grilled everything and did a great job.O

Oddly enough, Ben and Allie ended up in the tree. Susan told me to get a picture, so I did.

We sparked up a fire that evening and grilled marshmallows. Very tasty. Alex mastered the perfect mallow, but I found his method of eating them a little odd.

It was a great year, with perfect weather and lots of new additions to the list. There were lots that couldn't come, and they are now all dead to us (kidding) and must pay an entrance fee to be welcomed back into the family.

Multiple Big Sisters

After our memorial day party, I got to thinking about how lucky Cath and I are as parents and how lucky Nate, Maddie and Em are that we have the people in our lives that we have. As far back as ten years ago, we would have the girls in my youth group babysit our kids. Over time, those girls grew up (as tends to happen) and we would get to know them even better. Cathie and I would come back from our dates and end up hanging out and talking with them for hours and really getting to know them. Slowly but surely they were invited to a Kurt family gathering to see what they were really made of. For some reason, they stuck around.

Three of these girls: Kasey, Tiffany and Katie have a very special role in my kids lives. They've really taken on a "big sister" role with my girls and even with Nate. I trust these girls and their values, and I'm able to go to them with questions and advice. After Maddie got her phone, Tiffany even called me out on getting a phone for Maddie this young. Tiff and Kasey have known my kids since they were born and it's interesting to see what they notice about them as they're growing up. It's so nice to have girls that are some great role models play such an important role in their lives, and to have people that I trust that my girls can talk to when their not up for talking to Cathie and I about something. Plus, these girls can have conversations with a level of credability that I as a parent can't necessarily have, by the very nature of how the teenage brain is wired.

It's cool to watch these girls grow up and become such amazing women. I know that they attribute most of where they're at today to the advice I've given them over the years.

Pushed Beyond the Limits

Our Friday morning workouts consist of pretty much the same thing. The six or seven of us play lighting, a basketball game where you have to get the ball in the hoop before the guy behind you does. Where you place in each round depends on how many sets of exercises you do immediately following. For instance, last place will do 4 50 yard lengths of bear crawls, crab walks, split lunges or some other exercise.

Today was not my day. I'm not a great shot to begin with, but I was way off. I finished last in just about every set and ended up doing the full complement of exercises. Last place in our final set had to do 2 sets of 25 punching bag pushes, 25 push ups and 25 dips. I was dying on the last set and Kirk jumped in and did them with me. My body was screaming after doing the full complement after every exercise and about half way through each exercise I was about to quit, except that Kirk was there with me, doing the same exercises right along side me.

Call in competition or call it community, I would not have made it through the last part of the workout if someone weren't there beside me doing it with me. My muscles wanted to quit but there was something deeper that forced my brain to push harder and push through it.

There's probably a good life lesson in all of this. I can think of so many challenges that I've entered into with another person along side me that I wouldn't of touched on my own. Something about having another person there to challenge you, push you and help you out makes all the difference in the world. Makes me thankful I've got my wife, family and friends around me, who push me and give me the chance to move into areas where I'd never go myself.

The Wheel of Death

It was only Kirk, Dave and I yesterday so we pulled out the wheel of death. It's this crazy wheel you strap on your feet and pull yourself down the aisle with only your arms. It's a wicked ab workout almost more than upper body, but at the end you're dying.

Here's the video of me doing this, and doing it pretty poorly:

Video of me winning an argument with a six year old

Not to mention revealing family secrets about my brother Jon.

The 48 year old Sexican

We celebrated Bob's 48th birthday on Friday night in the cabana. Bob is half Mexican, half syrian, making him a full-blooded Sexican. Bob is also a connoisseur of tequila, which he distributes liberally at all of his gatherings. The guys got him (and none of us have paid Brad for) a bottle of tequila and then ordered dinner from Mexican Fiesta to complement the tequila.

The last time we ordered dinner form MF, we let Eli place the order. It ended up being about $200 worth of food and enough to feed a large village. This time we let Brad order the food and he did a little better - there was only enough to feed about 20

After watching the Wings lose in OT, we headed to downtown Northville (chauffered by Mr. Mike Rays - the beauty of having kids that can drive) to find out just how boring of a town Northville really is. We ended up at the Wagon Wheel where we hung around and watched people sing really bad Karoake.

How I found my roomba vacum cleaner

When to Pee at a Movie

This is a genius site called runpee.com that will tell you when the optimal time is to go and pee during a movie. Here's a review of the site. This is especially beneficial at eMagine theaters where they have a full bar available for movies.

Should you forward that facebook test?

Facebook as a Referer

I read an article on Mark Cuba's blog the other day about how Facebook and Twitter Google are competing with Google as a referral source to sites, including blogs. I took a look at the recent stats to my blog and found this to be very interesting. Remember that the direct links would be as a result of the links found in twitter tweets. It will be interesting to see how Google responds to this.

Contempt and Little Babies

I'm back to studying Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, starting in the beginning where he talks about anger and contempt. My Mom came to mind. Bear with me. In the sermon on the mount Jesus says:

"You're familiar with the command to the ancients, 'Do not murder.' I'm telling you that anyone who is so much as angry with a brother or sister is guilty of murder. Carelessly call a brother 'idiot!' and you just might find yourself hauled into court. Thoughtlessly yell 'stupid!' at a sister and you are on the brink of hellfire. The simple moral fact is that words kill."

Jesus isn't talking about which names you can call people, but instead talking about anger and contempt together, something I find way too much of in my own life. To deal with contempt, I've been trying to go beyond just "trying really hard not to find people contemptable" and instead look at the core issue for me of my own self-righteous, vanity and lack of valuing others.

I remember a lesson a while back with my youth group where everyone had a number on their forehead which they couldn't see, but everyone else could. The kids had to group themselves into groups based on the numbers they saw on other's forehead. We went from there to talking about how when we look at others, we subconsciously put a number on their forehead in terms of how we value them. We talked about how God ultimately places a ten on all of our foreheads in terms of how he values us and how when we really understand this, it affects the value we place on others. All that being said, I need to change how I value others by understanding how God values me and then internalize that at a heart level, starting by figuring out what that looks like.

As I was reflecting on valuing others, my Mom came to mind, especially babies. I have this image of my Mom when she was around her grandkids and how she had a way of making them feel very special and loved. Her love of babies in general oozed out of her. It seemed that she was more excited about people who were pregnant or had a new baby than the new Mom's themselves. One cause that was very dear to my Mom's heart was abortion. One of my Mom's favorite verses was this:

"O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar… For it was you who formed my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139)

She hated the idea of abortion not because she wanted to squash anyone's rights, but because she valued every baby so much that she couldn't fathom anyone killing a baby. It was really difficult for her to understand how someone could consider a baby an inconvience because she found them so amazing and valuable.

I want to become the kind of person who sees people with a ten on their forehead and places the same kind of value on them that my Mom did little babies. It's interesting even today as I'm going through my work day, I've been super aware of all of the ways I don't do that. It would be a huge help if everyone could wear a sticky note on their forehead with a ten on it as a gentle reminder.

I love love running because the French hate it

The WSJ had this article on Running for Lean Times. The article talked about the recent uproar after pictures surfaced of French President Nicolas Sarkozy was seen in shorts and a T-shirt breaking a sweat running. The article continued:

Running is an American activity, the French press claimed, a fascistic act designed to manage and control the body. Not an intellectual pursuit at all. "It is about performance and individualism," one writer wrote, right-wing values antithetical to everything cherished by the country (France) that gave us foie gras.

Apparently I run because I am about performance and individualism. God bless the USA and running!

Emily's New Law

As part of her assignment in school called, "If we ruled the community" Emily had to come up with a new law and why it's important:

My new Law:
To have every kind of pet except the ones you are allergic to.

Why my new law is important:
Because kids might really want a pet they can't get.

This probably has nothing to do withe the fact that she's wanted a Sugar Glider and a Pony and about 20 other animals for the past year.

Newton's First Law of Self-Centeredness

When they launch a satellite, it will pretty maintain it's given orbit over time unless a force acts upon it. The force acting on a satellite in this case is the earth, gradually pulling it closer and closer over time. The orbit will gradually degrades until it gets close enough to earth that it will burn up in the atmosphere. What I'm finding is that left on my own, my world will revolve around me and gradually degrade until my life becomes a self-absorbed mess.

I sat down the other day and tried to reflect on what my orbit looks like - what I'm doing in my life that is other centered and what I'm doing that is focused on me. My conclusion: I'm doing a lot of stuff centered on myself. I'll rearrange my life to make sure I can work-out or run, but I'm not as motivated with other-centered stuff, especially bigger things. Don't get me wrong, I'm still doing stuff like working with our junior high youth group and doing great stuff with my kids, but I feel like I'm in a self-centered rut and I don't like it. I know what an other-focused me looks like, and this isn't it.

It's not that I don't have the opportunity to do stuff for others, like go to downtown outreach and serve the poor or volunteer to help out around church with stuff. This is something that I've done a bunch of times in the past and I love it. Heck, in the bigger picture, I work for a company that would pay my salary for up to a year as part of their social leave program if I came up with the right project to serve the community with my skills. The challenge is actually breaking the inertia of my self-centered world to do it.

Newton's first law state that an object at rest remains at rest and an object in motion will remain in motion unless acted on by an unbalanced force. To top it off, to get that object moving from a standstill, you have to overcome an initial force called inertia. That inertia can be a bear to overcome on your own - almost impossible at times. This is where community comes in. When you have a group of people helping you with any goal - whether it's sobriety, fitness, spiritual formation or serving others - it's always easier to overcome inertia. They can love you, encourage you, push you beyond what you can do on your own.

The morning workout at 6am with the guys is so much easier than waking up and working out on my own. To top it off, riding there with Alex makes it even easier, because I know I've got someone going with me. Going to do Chaos on Monday nights is way easier to go knowing that I've got a great group of leaders to do it with. The same goes with the downtown outreach program. When I know I've got a group of friends going and encouraging me to go with them - that inertia goes away.

I'll end this with a quote from my friend Brad, who is once again using his mantra, "Life change happens best in community". I've gotta agree with him. I think I need more of that kind of community in my life.

Saw this huge snapping turtle while running

My Precious...

Watching my daughter with her new cell phone has forced me to take a hard look at the way I value and connect myself to my own stuff. The image of Gollum comes to mind around the way I arrange my life around some of my "stuff". I'm back reading Dallas Willard's Divine Conspiracy again, digging into the sermon on the mount. This stuff has been sticking to me and I can't get it out of my head:

Our treasure focuses our heart (our heart being defined as our will, spirit and the enter of our being from which our life flows, giving orientation to everything we do). A heart rightly directed therefore brings health to and wholeness to the entire personality. "Your heart will be where your treasure is" Jesus tells us in Matt 6:21.

Jesus compares our "heartsight" to our eyesigiht. We know how our eyesight affects our body and it's environment. "The eye is the lamp of the body" he said. If the eye works well, then the body easily moves about it's environment. As Jesus puts it, "Our whole body is well directed" is "full of life" (Matt 6:23).

The person who treasures what lies within the kingdom sees everything in its true worth adn relationship. The person who treasures what is "on earth" by contrast sees everything from a perspective that distorts it and systematically misleads in practice. The relative importance of things is, in particular, mis-perceived. All else is seen only in its relation to the object and enjoyment of it.

Hence, Gollum. Based on the things I want in life (money, food, technology, etc) I can change how I value others and God to get what I need. The stuff I own ends up owning me. I spend ridiculous amounts of time and energy thinking about, repairing, replacing or expanding what I have. I end up serving this stuff. At the end of the day, I look at the return on investment of that energy and it seems like it never delivers (except maybe for the iPhone). Willard continues:

We cannot help but serve our treasures. We labor all day for them and think about them all night. They fill our dreams. But it is not uncommon for people to think that they can treasure this world and the invisible kingdom as well, that they can serve both. Perhaps we can make this work for a while. But there will come a time when one must be subordinate to the other. We simply cannot have two ultimate goals or points of reference for our actions. That is how life is, and no one escapes.

You cannot be the servant of both God and things "on earth" because their requirements conflict. Unless you have already put God first, for example, what you will have to do to be financially secure, impress other people or fulfill your desires will invariably lead you against God's wishes. That is why the first of the Ten Commandments, "You shall have no god who take priority over me" is the first of the Ten Commandments.

These are hard, hard words for me. I feel like I straddle the line, trying to value both worlds, while in reality subordinating this to the other. When their requirements conflict, I sometimes make the right decision and others don't. I can't pursue both. I'm hoping that by focusing on fasting around not just food, but from buying stuff, I come to have a better sense of my prioritization of the kingdoms and dependence on God.

What I'm learning from fasting

I've been trying (and making only minimal progress) of fasting on a regular, weekly basis. I want to incorporate the various spiritual disciplines into my life the way I do exercise. I want things like regular prayer, meditation, fasting, study, scripture memorization, serving others, etc to be the same kind of rhythm in my life that going to the gym and running are. I want to become the kind of person who just does those things, not one that feels obligated to do them.

Here's what I'm learning from fasting:

• My body lies to me. Only a couple hours after eating and starting my fast, I'll begin to get hungry because I know I can't eat then. I'll try and talk myself out of the fast mid-way through or convince myself why I shouldn't fast on a given day in things that make great sense to me in the moment.
  
• I am not nearly as dependent upon on God as I need to be. I look to so many things to fulfill me and often turn to God as a last resort. I would never binge on junk food and then going to Morton's for a steak dinner after I'm mostly full. It would be a waste.
• Fasting tells me a lot about my priorities. I'll rearrange my world to make sure I don't miss a workout or a run, but I find some pretty amazing excuses not to fast.
  
• My body responds reflexively to things in ways I'm not aware of. I have patterns of things that I think I need at a given time - a glass of scotch at night, or an ice cold beer as I BBQ.
• I'm at the mercy of my cravings. It tells me I need things - that I must have things that aren't necessary. I'm sure that all of those things will be exactly what will fulfill me at that moment. After my fast, I'm always amazed that the things I'm think would be just what I need just don't fulfill me. Part of the reason I'm fasting is to retrain my reflexes. When I have these urges, I'm trying to discipline myself to look to God for fulfillment first. Not that I'm giving up drinking a glass of scotch at night, but I'm trying to go to Morton's before 7-11 for junk food.
  
• I suck at denying myself anything. I'll go to great lengths and arrange my world the way I want to get myself what I want to eat, drink or buy. I want to pursue life from a place of fullness and wholeness. When I do that, these things take care of themselves.
  

Our friend Sherry loves diarrhea more than anyone

Em doesn't love all animals

As you know, Em loves all animals. Well, maybe not all. Yesterday, a bird pooped on her:

Emily: "Mom, I hate wild birds that poop on me."
Cathie: "You hate all wild birds?"
Emily: "No, I love wild birds - just not the ones that poop on me."
Cathie: "Em, this shouldn't be such a big deal. The frogs you're always catching pee on you all the time."
Emily: (rolling eyes) "Mom, don't you know that it's really NOT pee, but a defense mechanism to keep them safe. There's a big difference."

Good Form Running 2 Class

Two weeks ago, I mentioned going to the Good Form Running Class - Level 1 at Playmakers in Okemos. Last night I went to the GFR Level 2 course at Jenison field house track on Michigan State's campus. I've been trying to incorporate things from the first class into my running and it's just felt ackward. I was hoping to get a sense for what I'm doing right and wrong and get some more detailed feedback. There were four people in the class and it was taught by the same olympic runner, Grant, who taught the first class.

He started the class by having us run about a mile, and then video taped us on the last lap. We then reviewed the video and he noted the things we needed to work on. He took us through a series of exercises and motions to practice in order to start changing things like our foot strike, stride, lean and muscles we're using to run. It turns out my shins and calves are very active when I run and shouldn't be. We finally put all of these motions together and then ran again. It was kind of like the Karate kid as the patterns started to change and I saw my running changing without thinking about it as much.

He video taped us at the end and then gave us some take aways on what to work on. It was a great class. Where else can you get coached by an olympic runner for $20? The guy is so humble and nice and really encourages you along the way - which is great, because in the beginning you feel kind of dumb not being able to get something as simple as running. The class goes 90 minutes and I'll probably go back again with Kevin or Bill to see how I'm doing with what I've learned.

Matt

I met up with a friend of mine after the running class in Okemos. Matt and I have been friends for almost 30 years, when he moved across the street from me in fourth grade. Matt was in my wedding and one of only a couple of guys I've stayed in touch with from high school. We grew up with our Dad's on the ski patrol together, so we would spend weekends together in the winter skiing and the we'd do a fair amount of biking together, riding DALMAC (bike ride from Lansing to Mackinac) a few times. We got into a fair amount of trouble together growing up and even though we traveled in different circles in high school and college, we stayed friends. Our Dad's still hang out together even in their old age.

We sat around over beers for a couple hours catching up on each others families, kids and mutual friends from high school. We did a lot of laughing and started a lot of the conversations with, "Remember when we...." followed by something we did that we should have probably been arrested, punished or injured doing. When Matt and I were 19, we road tripped with our friend Rodney to Arizona, Tijuana and then to Los Angeles to see Matt's brother Teod (formerly known as Todd). Out of a lot of trips in my life, I have some of the most vivid memories of this one. We sat around reliving the whole road trip and the number of dumb things we did that we couldn't believe we made it through, including a visit to Tijuana we should never of survived.

It was really cool to reflect on all of the shared experiences he and I have over 29 years, and even as we've gotten older, live in different cities and gotten smarter, how well we still really know each other. At one point Matt and I were talking about our kids, and started laughing, thinking about how our parents probably had the same conversations about the stuff we were doing at their age. In the same way our Dad's are still friends at almost 70 years old, I can easily imagine sitting at a bar with Matt at age 70 and re-telling the story of how he almost died on the side of a mountain in Los Angeles.

Maddie's Talent Show

Maddie and her friend Sam (to the right of Maddie) participated in their school's talent show. They created their own dance and performed it in front of their whole school. I repeatedly offered to help coach them but they didn't seem as interested as you'd imagine. Here's a video of their dance:

Happy Mother's Day Cathie!

Cathie is an amazing Mom - my example of what a parent's supposed to be, really. When we talked about doing the Relay for Life this year and whether she wanted to do it since it fell on Mother's Day, her response was that she couldn't think of a better way to honor my Mom than by doing it. That's just one of many reasons I'm crazy about her.

Cathie is such a great example of what a Mom is to our kids. She sets the bar so high in terms of how to love and serve others, how to manage our home and crazy schedule with a traveling husband and how to prioritize all the craziness of the world, putting people before stuff. All that and she's smokin hot too!

After a long day and night at Relay for Life, we let Cathie sleep in and celebrated Mother's Day. We let Cathie stay in bed all morning and presented her with a plethora of choices for breakfast on the menu.

The kids all helped make breakfast, which we served to Cathie in bed, with french toast, bacon, fruit salad and Madeline own concoction of orange juice with strawberries.

Each of the kids made/bought their own gifts for Cathie. They each made her a card and bought her something. Nate (using his own money) bought Cathie a bouquet of flowers and some jewelry along with a card he made. Along with making her a card extolling Cathie's greatness, Em bought Cathie a bag of her favorite peanut M&Ms and Red Vine licorice. Maddie made Cath a card and picked up her an 8 pack of tiny diet coke bottles.

We brought Cathie the laptop into bed and let her facebook from the comfort of her matress followed by a long nap and then dinner at Outback Steakhouse

We topped it off with Ice Cream at Gurnsey's in Northville for Ice Cream.

Mother's Day Gift for my Mom

We got this paper of Nate's in the mail yesterday from his teacher. Each kid in the class had to write a story about one of their heroes. I couldn't help but cry as I read this, especially on Mother's Day as I've been thinking a lot about my Mom and missing her.

My Hero
By: Nathan Kurt
What makes someone a hero? Do heroes have to be famous? Can a hero be someone in your family? Do everyday heroes need fame or need to be recognized for all the little things they do? No, everyday heroes do things just for the warm fuzzy feeling you get when you help someone else. My grandma, Lynn Kurt, is my hero because she is religious, caring, and cheerful.

My grandma is one of the most religious people I know. Lynn Kurt, my grandma, walked with God every day until she died. She influenced people to become a disciple of Jesus by using her kind words to tell people the gospel, which means the good news about what Jesus did for us. When she did it was like a light turned on in their mind like when you go in a pitch black cave, where you can't even see yourself. Then you light a match illuminating the cave. My grandma has inspired me to become a disciple of Jesus and share the good news with other.

One of the most sympathetic people you'll ever meet is my grandma. This woman will do anything for anybody just to put a smile on their face. In fact one time my grandma bought a car for a homeless family and gave them three-thousand dollars for food and gas money. Another thing is that she cares about people's feelings. An example of this is when she saw a person weeping harder than a weeping willow as she was walking home and came to her to help her feel better and she learned her husband had a filed a divorce. So she took her out to dinner to talk more about it to try to make her feel better. Being caring, in my opinion, is one of the most important traits a hero has to have.

The trait that draws everyone to my grandma is her cheerfulness. Lynn Kurt is always in a good mood. Nothing can alter that no matter what happens. She can find something positive in even the worst of situations. Her mood is contagious, when people see her smiling, emitting a glow people fifty miles away can see, and in a good they start smiling and cheering up. Lynn Kurt has taught me to find the good in the worst and that is what I always try to do.

Now do you understand what a hero is? What makes someone a hero? Can a hero be someone in your family? Or do they have to be famous? My grandma, Lynn Kurt, is my hero because she is religious, caring, and cheerful.

What I'm getting my brothers for Xmas

Be afraid - be very afraid

Does this picture strike fear into your heart at the deepest levels? It should. The million and a half girls were enough to keep Nate and I far away from home last Friday. Emily's 8th birthday party involved 11 girls coming over to spend the night.

Maddie and her friend Sam were kind enough to help out with everything. After giving all of the girls make-overs, the girls wanted to give Maddie and Sam makeovers as well. This went well until the girls had Maddie and Sam close their eyes. When Cathie found them, the girls had given them a make-over, but the make-over involved nail polish - on their faces.

The girls had a blast hanging out, watching movies, running around chasing each other and squealing really, really loudly.

Emily was on cloud nine being the center of attention with all of her friends.

They each created their own pillow-case with custom artwork and their friend's signatures.

The girls were up early (the first @ 6:45am on Saturday morning) and by the time they left at 9:30am, Cathie was ready for a nap. My job during this time was to keep Nate out of the house, so we went to see Wolverine while the girls went nuts.