My little Emily

We had pancakes for breakfast yesterday. Emily got a face (see the sausage eyebrows).

By the end of the night, Em wasn't feeling good and wanted to cuddle with her Mom (wearing the sleep mask she got from her Aunt Beth). Lola decided to come in and cuddle, and this is how I found the three of them.

Last of the Leaves

We had one tree that just refused to drop it's leaves.  I didn't mind, since they were a beautiful red color and made me feel like fall hadn't quite gone away yet.

Emily and I made one last pile of leaves and she climbed up. Way up, and launched herself off the branch into the pile.She has so much fun with these kinds of things, willing to climb way up and launch way off, giggling all the way down.

Butch Walker Cover of "You Belong with Me"

With two daughters, I've heard this song about a million times. Emily and her friend Ashlyn have even written their own version, substituting the words "coconut tree" with "belong with me". Who would of thought to play the song with a banjo?
(You can fast-forward to about 2:45 to hear the actual song)

Beautiful View of the Manhattan Skyline

Emily..My Personal Trainer

Emily has been riding her bike with me while I run, and she's an amazing little trainer for me.  She takes great joy in knowing how to stay just far enough in front of me to keep me moving at a fast pace.  I don't even have to ask her to go running with me now; as soon as she hears I'm going running she heads right out with me.

Yesterday's morning workout was a bit rough, resulting in a near digestive release.  This morning, Cathie asked me how the workout with Kirk was and I responded that it was a little easier.  Without missing a beat, Emily replied, "That's because I wasn't training you, Dad".  Apparently Kirk has some competition.

Em's quick wit continues to amaze us.  We call her our little Jon (as in my brother, not the toilet). She comes up with stuff so darn quickly.  My wife actually made the comment this morning - "We're not that sarcastic, are we?"  Suuuuure we're not.

Why do companies use five year old laptops?

There's a great article in today's WSJ entitled, It's a free Country... So why can't we pick our technology?  The article looks at how many of us in the corporate world use antiquated technology in the workplace, and far more advanced technology at home.  I can relate.

Xerox has a very rich heritage around technology and innovation.  We created (but didn't always capitalize as well as we could have) on things like the Graphical User Interface, the Mouse and Ethernet networking.  We've come up with some amazing technologies around documents, copiers and printers that makes our products some of the best in the world.  What kills me is way companies like mine treat the technology that their employees are exposed to day in and day out.  You've got to wonder what the cultural impact will be around innovation when a company does not drive employees to stay up to date on innovation in their every day life.

My companies provide employees with very old Dell D610 laptops running an 8 year old Windows XP operating system.  They use a firewall to block many web sites around newer technologies, like Google Mail, Twitter and Facebook.  Only recently have they opened up YouTube as they've begun to use this as an advertising medium. 

It makes this example of Kraft Foods, a large global consumer company, that much more interesting:

Until a couple of years ago, Kraft Foods Inc., the consumer-goods giant, had a rigid approach to workplace technology that was typical of many big companies: It locked down PCs so employees couldn't install software on their own, and it prevented them from accessing sites like YouTube and Facebook. When it came to hardware, Kraft offered a limited choice of smart phones and Windows PCs.

This is a novel idea:

Executives began to worry that the company's technology policies were preventing employees from staying in step with trends. Kraft was a consumer company, they figured, so workers needed to be more familiar with the technologies that consumers were using, whether the iPhone or YouTube.

They key phrase here is that Kraft is a consumer company, so they wanted employees to know what consumers use out there.  Bingo.  This is key to bringing workers forward and encouraging them to understand the technology available in the world around them.  My company consists of a much older work force, many of whom are not technology adept.  It would be interesting to see the impact of some of Kraft's best practices around laptops and phones in Xerox.

The article continues on about Kraft:

So, the IT department stopped blocking access to consumer Web sites, and the company started a stipend program for smart phones: Workers get an allowance every 18 months to buy a phone of their choosing. (Over 60% picked iPhones.) Kraft has also started a pilot program to let some of its employees pick their own computer. One catch: Employees who choose Macs are expected to solve technical problems by consulting an online discussion group at Kraft, rather than going through the help desk, which deals mainly with Windows users.

I get that diversity of technology can be expensive, especially amongst a global workforce of 50,000 people.   I understand that in a company where people are not technologically savvy, support can be a ugly.  Being someone who is in front of customers days in and day out, it's can be a tough sell to tell the world that you're a technology leader while using antiquated technology.  Hopefully, as the economy starts to turn, we'll start to see a refresh of some of our technology, especially our laptops.  On the upside, I work for a progressive group with progressive leadership in my company that has been willing to bend the rules to allow innovation to occur. (As a result of this post, I got a note from a co-worker that that this refresh has begun).

On the bright side, my company did open up early on their Microsoft Exchange E-Mail servers to allow SmartPhone access as well as iPhone access.  Since then, they've tried to standardize everyone on Blackberries, but still allow iPhones if you want to foot the bill.   They've also done a nice job of leveraging Twitter, Second Life and Facebook as communication mediums, while many other companies I talk to are far behind.  We've incorporated web based CRM solutions for our Sales Force management, which I think is ahead of the times as well.

I really love the company I work for, and I want to see it continue to move more fully into some of the newer technologies even faster than they are.  Or.... Maybe I just want a better laptop. 

(Disclaimer: As mentioned in the footer of my blog, I should probably reiterate this here as well: While I am a Xerox employee, this personal blog and it's contents in no way represent the opinion of Xerox Corporation or any of it's affiliates)

Teens and Pseques

At church, we just finished a 3 part message series on sexuality (You can listen to the message series here.).  The first was for married people, the second for single people and the third for teens.  The junior high and high school students stayed in for all three messages, so I was able to listen to them as both the Dad of teenagers and as someone whose tried to deliver this type of message and gotten it was wrong.  It was such a complex, touchy topic and Joe nailed it in his message.

As a parent, this is new ground for me.  Sure, I've had the talks about where babies come from, but this goes way beyond that, way beyond what I learned as a kid.  Nothing against my parents on this - I think they were trying to figure it out just like Cathie and I are doing.  My Dad jokes that he grew up on a farm and learned where babies come from when his Dad pointed out a cow and bull in the field.  Most of my life, I've looked at sexuality and sex as being the same thing, and I'm learning that the second is a small piece of the first. 

The church talks I've typically heard revolve around the same basic points, all true in and of themselves, but they leave some big gaps: They take you through how God created sex, and it's great, but you need to wait otherwise you'll get your heart broken, diseases or pregnant and you need Jesus to help you through the waiting part of sex.

Joe started right from the beginning saying that he wasn't going to spend time dwelling on the consequences of sex in terms of disease and pregnancy - he assumed that the kids had heard this stuff ad nausea in school, which they have.  From there, he took a very interesting approach, going with the same theme he had throughout the series.  He looked at sexuality as being much bigger than sex. 

He looked at sexuality in a broader light, beyond just the act of sex, but as a sacred energy given to us by God in every cell of our being, that drives us towards overcoming our incompleteness.  He looked at how TV tells teens that our sexuality should be channeled to bring us towards completeness verses looking at how else sexuality can be harnessed and respect the sacredness and power given to us by God in our sexuality.

During the first message, he talked about the sexuality of Mother Teresa (I know, those concepts don't seem to go together at first),  expounding on some of what Ronald Rolheiser (a celibate catholic priest) talks about in The Holy Longing.   Mother Teresa took that powerful energy and channeled it into God and the Poor.  Joe talked about how the teens in our church have poured this energy into serving the poor through our Downtown outreach  and Missions trips.  They used their sexuality, this unbridled energy, this eros, to pursue connectedness and to bless others. 

He had a very interesting example in the life of Tim Treadwell, the bear researcher.  Tim was known for living amongst the bears he studied, in their habitat, without any separation from them.  He treated something of great power (the bears) very casually, which you can only do for so long before it blows up on you.  For Tim, it resulted in the death of him, his fiancee and the bears.

I think I'm learning more and more about about this energy, and how I choose where to direct it: my job, my family, my friends, the poor, my stuff, my exercise.  I want my conversations with my kids in this area to be driven from God's larger concept of sexuality.  I think talking to your kids about topics like pornography become a very different conversation at that point.

The Holy Longing The Search for a Christian Spirituality is one of my favorite books, and I've started re-reading it again, and get so much out of it.  It's a simple book, but covers some of the deepest topics simply.  (Ken Buck would consider this book to be non-source text and likely be angry at it's very existence).  This book brings together some concepts around spirituality in terms of sexuality, justice, the church and Jesus in a way that just makes sense and challenges your world view.

I am not as old as you think:Triad Athletic Testing

Triad Performance Training Center had the first in a series of athletic testing yesterday to give you an idea of where you stand in different areas of fitness relative to others overall and in your age group.  These are used as part of the NFL combine as well to measure the athletes.  Kirk (the owner of Triad) has coached a number of pro football players, been to the NFL Combine, along with having been the trainer for the Detroit Red Wings.  After all of that, he still doesn't think I should play professional sports.

I'm a competitive guy and I like being able to compete against myself and others in a given area and to train for a specific area (like push-ups or chin-ups) or to figure out how to increase my speed in an event like the shuttle-run, which seems like it requires a lot of technique.

You should come out and see where you stack up in your age group.  It's fun, the staff at Triad really get what they're doing with this stuff.  It only takes about an hour (from 10-11 on Saturday morning).

Here are the results I received yesterday after the event.

Thank you for participating in this month’s athletic testing!

Your results from this month’s testing are as follows:

40 Yard: 5.14 seconds (World Record is 3.73)
Push Up in 1 minute: 54 (World Record is 120)
Vertical Leap: 25.5 inches (World Record is 60 inches)
Chin Up: 12 (World Record is 60)
Broad Jump: 8"3.5 inches (World Record is 11.4 feet)
Pro Shuttle: 4.71 seconds


You currently have the record for:

31-40: 40 Yard, Push Up, Vertical Leap, Chin Up, Broad Jump, Pro Shuttle
Overall: Push Up, Vertical Leap, Broad Jump

The next testing date is December 12th. We hope to see you there!

My Dad is making a difference

I think everyone has heard the story about the boy and starfish. If not, this is it:

A man was walking along a deserted beach at sunset. As he walked he could see a young boy in the distance, as he drew nearer he noticed that the boy kept bending down, picking something up and throwing it into the water. Time and again he kept hurling things into the ocean.
As the man approached even closer, he was able to see that the boy was picking up starfish that had been washed up on the beach and, one at a time he was throwing them back into the water.

The man asked the boy what he was doing, the boy replied,"I am throwing these washed up starfish back into the ocean, or else they will die through lack of oxygen. "But", said the man, "You can't possibly save them all, there are thousands on this beach, and this must be happening on hundreds of beaches along the coast. You can't possibly make a difference." The boy smiled, bent down and picked up another starfish, and as he threw it back into the sea, he replied.

"I made a huge difference to that one!"

My Dad has been working with a Somalian refugee since he arrived in America about six months ago.  Bakar is deaf and came to America with basically nothing and was paired up with my Dad through Catholic Social Services.

My Dad has worked with Baktar to help him with basic things that you and I would take for granted - figuring out bus lines to get to his job, rides to his mosque, enrolling in classes, figuring out how to get a text only cell phone plan.  What I think is so cool is the way my Dad has applied his network of friends and knowledge of the various systems out there to get Bakar dental reconstruction and a cochlear implant through U of M as part of a program they offer.

I've seen a lot of people retire and focus on themselves - traveling around the country, golfing and joining country clubs.  My Dad chose to invest his time into being Jesus in the flesh to this man.  I know of Christians who spend a lot of time being able to argue their faith with Muslims.  I think the way my Dad lives his life is a much more effective way to tell one Muslim who Jesus is - by acting like him.

Reading the words of Jesus, this stuff is far more important than belonging to the right denomination, political party or protesting just the right thing.  When Jesus was asked the Kingdom of God, he had this to say about the importance of how we treated the least of those:

 ³⁷"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? ³⁸When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? ³⁹When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
 ⁴⁰"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

It's great when I talk to my Dad to hear his excitement about Bakar and the progress he's making in America.  It's cool to see how this experience is giving my Dad a first-hand look at how tough it can be to get ahead for someone who starts out behind the eight-ball, even for someone who is motivated and driven, without the right resources.  My Dad's a great example for me in how life shouldn't be lived in orbit around yourself.  My Dad may not be able to fix the destruction caused by radical islam, or stop the genocide going on in Somalia - but like the boy saving the starfish, my Dad is making a difference to Bakar.

Nate's Room is clean for 10 minutes

Nate had the ridiculous task of cleaning his room by bedtime Sunday night. Not just cleaning it, but cleaning it to his Mom's standard. To understand how big of a job this was, you had to understand just how trashed he'd (we'd) let his room get. It was a slow deterioration desperately in need of a clean sweep.

Nate and I hauled some hefty trash bags up to his room and started going through his room, drawer by drawer, shelf by shelf. We were even brave enough to move the bed. 2 1/2 hours later, we had the room pretty spotless and spartan. We hauled piles of junk out of his room, and for the next hour, it stayed pretty clean.

Being the Change at Challange Day

I came home yesterday at 3:00 about as physically and emotionally drained as I've been in years. In a good way. I spent 8 intense hours, from 7am to 3pm with 90 junior high kids and 20 parents and teachers, and 2 facilitators from the Be The Change organization. Challenge Day is built on Ghandi's words "Be the change that you want to see in the world". Our friend Katie Green was involved in her school around the Be The Change movement and invited Cathie and I to participate last year. I was out of town, but Cathie was able to do it, and loved it.

The goals of the day is to break down bullying and cliques in schools by helping kids to look at each other differently. The idea is that if kids understand the stories of the other kids around them and understand the impact of their words and actions on others, they'll choose to behave differently and start a chain reaction.

The school's pay around $10k to bring in the facilitators for a couple of days and put this on, and they do this for kids ranging from 7th - 12th grade, and corporate events as well. I was told that they cut the budget in the high school and are only doing it in the middle school this year.

The event starts with a quick orientation for the adults at 7am where they bring adults together, connect us a bit and tell us what they're looking for. The kids come in from there and we spend the next 7 1/2 hours with no more than 5 minutes of downtime for a bathroom break and a quick lunch break. The whole event is intense.

The two facilitators work on a very tight script, and manage the room of 90 kids with ninja-like abilities. I know some great junior high youth pastors, but none that can handle 90 kids, pretty much solo. The adults are really participating in the event with the kids, and really aren't called upon to much more than the same thing the kids are asked to do. The event moves at such a fast pace, in such close proximity to others the entire time, that the kids don't have a chance to screw around or deviate much.They controlled the energy level and level of intimacy in the room with tremendous precision. 

I've been through facilitation courses, and have run my share of junior high events - but this showed me everything I don't know. It was like going to your first karate lesson, thinking you know a few moves, and then watching two ninjas battle.  It was a whole other level of good.

We started out with a bunch of games at a very high energy level and some quick 5-10 minute talks, all designed to bring the group closer together emotionally and physically. The facilitators shared their stories and set the bar for what sharing would look like in the groups. They taught the kids to hug, talked about the importance of good touch like that, and talked about some of the reasons people would not want to hug (past abuse, homophobia, etc). In the end, they had junior high guys and girls hugging each other like it was not a big deal. That in itself was amazing, to break down the barriers for a junior high guy to comfort another junior high guy by giving him a hug.

They then broke us up into "family groups" of 6 - 1 leader and five kids. From there, we listened. They modeled how to listen for us, it was as simple as going around with each kid have two minutes to answer the questions:

1. If you really knew me, you'd know...
2. If you really, really knew me, you'd know...
   

At two minutes each, our group listened to the kids share some heart-wrenching stories about their family lives, to them and their parents: abuse, neglect, suicide, alcoholism, being picked on, being called all sorts of names: bitch, whore, trailer trash. It broke my heart to hear their stories. The adults had to share as well, and I think I was as nervous as the kids.

We'd move from our family group times, to larger group time, and to an event at the end that was amazingly powerful. They lined us all up on a line and would call out certain characteristics. If those characteristics fit you, you crossed the line, turned around looked back on the larger group. The characteristics ranged from the color of their skin, to those who have alcoholics in their family, divorced, adopted, poor, made fun of for being short, fan, complexion, death of a parent... The activity was amazing in showing a couple of things:

1. It showed the kids things about their peers they never imagined, stories that they didn't know were there.
2. It showed the kids that they're not alone in what they've gone through.
   

Nate's feedback at the end summed up what I hope a lot of kids took away, which was awareness:, "Dad - I didn't know that stuff (physical abuse, drug abuse, alcoholism, homelessness) happened in South Lyon - I thought it was just in places like Detroit."

At the end, they gave kids the chance to get up and tell their stories to the larger group - answering the "If you really knew me" questions to the group at large. As a group, we got to hear some of their stories, and what kids are going to do differently. Reconciliation took place amongst kids, kids heard the impact of their words and actions in these stories.

I walked out of there thinking that this day really could make a difference in the school. If kids learn to see through different eyes - eyes of compassion, love and respect and then choose to treat people differently, and stand up for others as well - I think it could really change things.

Whether you're listening to Be the Change, Ghandi, or Jesus, I think the message of the bible holds true around loving others:

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13

I know for myself that I can't achieve that kind of love and compassion on my own. I know that following Jesus and doing what he says has been the only way I've been able to make lasting change like this that lasts beyond a given event or observation.

If you know Katie Green, she's a great example to me of a high schooler (and now a freshman in college) who really lives out 1 Corinthians 13 and Ghandi's idea to "Be the change that you want to see in the world" in her school, friendships and time, putting her actions and relationships, especially with junior highers.

Check out this video that shows a clip of the "Crossing the Line" exercise I mentioned earlier that was shown on my brother Jon's favorite show, Oprah:

Saturday's Family Movie Night

On Saturday night we hung out and had our family night. Being a part of our family, we invited Tiff to hang with us as well. We all hung out on the couch, ate some of my amazing popcorn and watched the movie Aliens in the Attic.

Afterward, Cath, Tiff and I hung out by the fire in the back yard and talked for a while, and then caught up on TV.

Beautiful Fall Family Day

After church, it was just too beautiful to stay inside. In a rare bit of home maintenance motivation, I went out and cleaned the leaves out of the gutters and trimmed some of the trees that were rubbing up against the house. Maddie decided to show me that she has no fear of heights by scrambling all the way up our tallest tree.

Nate and I lamented end of his football season by throwing the ball around for a while.

It was a beautiful day to hang in the backyard enjoy the sun and hang out as a family.... And then watch football while grilling out - chicken drumsticks on the grill!

Maddie is flippin out

Maddie and I were playing around in the back yard and she wanted me to see how high I could throw her, like we do in the pool. I started tossing her up in the air, cheerleader style. It's a lot tougher than it looks.

After going for height, we tried to a sideways roll. It didn't go so hot, as you can see form the pictures.

She's still my little girl, no matter how old she gets.

Kurt Family Fall Day in the Leaves

Nate and I went to the Lions game on Sunday. It was kind of a last minute thing, meant to be a reward for his great report cards and conferences. It was probably the worst football game I've seen in years. It seemed like a bad way to waste a beautiful day.

I came home to find that my wife had spent the day mowing the lawn and raking the zillions of leaves we have. I went out for a few minutes to help her finish up the job. Maddie decided to take a few pictures, including this great picture of Cathie in action with the leaves, complete with her phone in holster.

Maddie had me pile the leaves so that she could launch off into the pile from the trampoline. I love this picture of her jumping into the leaves.

Emily followed suit, jumping into the leaves, with her curly hair following behind her.

I love these pictures of the girls.

Maddie's red hair blends right into the leaves. I got some other great pictures of Maddie and Cathie having a leaf flight that really captures the two of them together.

Halloween 2009, They keep growing up...

A couple of weeks ago we were sitting around as a family watching old family videos. We watched videos of Nate and Maddie's first Halloween's and laughed at their costumes. It's amazing to see how they've grown up. Nate changed his costume up at the last minute from being an injured football player to a cheerleader. Emily stuck with her animal theme to be a bee.

We weren't exactly sure what would happen this year with trick-or-treating based on some of the flu stuff going around, so it came down to the wire. In the past, Cathie had accidentally given out the stone in her wedding ring as a trick-or-treat, so this year, we made sure all the prongs were in tact.

Maddie went out as 'Little Miss Muffit' with two of her friends, Maddie and Jacklyn. It's tough finding an appropriate outfit for a 6th grader!

The girls made out pretty well with their candy, and separated out their candy for counting.

I'd suggested that the boys hit one of our bigger subdivisions, but I'm not sure how well it worked for them. Emily and her friend Kirstin went out with Monaca and Cathie and had a blast.

Emily and Maddie carved pumpkins this year, but didn't do the complex designs in past years, which worked for me, as I normally do all the carving.

Wilaca came over to hang with us. Cathie and Monaca took Em out, while Will and I passed out candy and then watched the MSU game. What a painful game to watch!

Bathroom Warning: No cell phones or cameras?

The Lions only scoring play, with an interception

The Lions only scoring play, with an interception
Originally uploaded by fusionmonkey