My Mom is Gone

My Mom is gone. She died tonight around 11pm. We were all there with her as her soul went to heaven and her body became an empty shell. She was at peace. She knew where she was going. I've never experienced anything like this in my life. There's a part of me racked with grief and another part of me that is glad she's not hurting any more. We have so many wonderful stories, memories and pictures to keep her memory alive in our family.

We were talking tonight about my Mom being in heaven. We believe that she will either be the greeter at the gates, welcoming people in and telling them where to eat or she will work in a giant heavenly nursery, holding the babies.

My Dad is without his wife of 40 years. My siblings and I are without a Mom. Our kids will miss their grandmother like nothing else. Sherry is without a sister and best friend. My grandmother now has no surviving children. So many people lose in this deal.

I keep thinking about this verse:

13Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. 14We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. (1 Thes 4:13-14)

As I sat there with my Mom at the end, I was thinking about what race she has run. She lived life to the fullest, she loved God deeply and she loved people so very, very well. I want to run the race like she did. Serving others, loving the hard to love and helping the helpless. I admire and love my Mom so much. She modeled this for me. She trained hard, she didn't run aimlessly. She got the prize:

24Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

25Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. 27No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

I am sad. It hurts. I don't understand it, but buried beneath the saddness is a relief and happiness for where my Mom is at and for this week with her that I have locked away in my heart forever.