So I've had a chance to reflect a little on last week, and why it was such a great vacation. I can sum it up in one word... Expectations. In the past, I've always gone on vacation with big expectations - expectations on what we would do, or how relaxing it would be, how much fun the kids would have, and how my wife and I would spend time with each other and the kids. I was ALWAYS disappointed, and ended up being resentful. Sounds silly, right? I resented the fact that vacation fell short of my expectations - simply because life happened, and in turn I became resentful - of vacation, of my wife, my kids and my family. It sounds pretty petty of me, as I read this. I think I'm writing this down more for me to re-read next year before vacation, because I'm sure I'll forget it before then. By going into this vacation with no expectations, I had an amazing time. The first couple days, God and I had an ongoing dialog about how this vacation was going to go, because it wasn't a simple thing, when my nature is so wound around expectations. My resolve was really tested when the forecast at the beginning of the week was cold and rainy weather ALL WEEK LONG. I spent lots of time talking and listening to God about where my heart's at and why, and in spite of the weather, was set to go. That didn't stop me from asking for great weather, but it was with the expectation that I could have a great week regardless. On Monday, in the midst of the rain, I sensed God telling me "Dave, I died on a cross for you - how big of a deal is giving you some nice weather?" We had beautiful weather the rest of the week. It poured rain 6 miles away from us all day Tuesday, but we had beautiful, sunny weather. Go figure. I spent more time with my kids, and really enjoyed the moment, rather than resenting the fact that I wasn't doing whatever. I soaked in each moment, rather than pining away about what I wasn't doing, or how it wasn't as much fun as I'd planned. Rather than focusing on whether I was spending an inordinate amount of time with my kids compared to others, I just enjoyed the time. Now I wasn't perfect throughout all of this, and I don't have all of this figure out, but what I did learn about expectations and resentment made all the difference on this vacation.
On a side note, I was reminded repeatedly (no, not by my wife) of what an amazing woman my wife is. Next to God's grace, she is the greatest gift I've ever received. I had the chance one night to watch her on the beach, playing with the kids - and I saw her beauty again in a new way. She is the greatest mom in the world (sorry to other mom's out there). She has a beauty that constantly catches me off guard and reminds me of just how gorgeous she is. 20 or 30 times this week I would stop, look at her, and see her beauty in a new way - as a mom, as a woman, and as my wife. I am madly in love with her!