I've been re-reading The Great Divorce, by C.S. Lewis. It's about a fictional bus ride from Hell to Heaven, where the passengers are allowed to walk freely around the outskirts of Heaven for a day and decide whether they'd like to "stay on" permanently.

There's a great part of the story that deals with our choices and our addictions. Here's an synopsis of it:

One of the passengers, an oily man who has decided to leave and is headed back to the bus. Sitting on his shoulder is a little red lizard, twitching its tail like a whip and whispering things in his ear. The man turns his head to the reptile and snarls, "Shut up, I tell you!"

Just then one of Heaven's radiant angels sees the man. "Off so soon?" he calls.

"Well, yes," says the man. "I'd stay, you know, if it weren't for him," indicating the lizard. "I told him he'd have to be quiet if he came. His kind of stuff won't do here. But he won't stop. So I'll just have to go home."

"Would you like me to make him quiet?" asks the angel.

"Of course I would", says the man.

"Then I will kill him," says the angel, stepping forward.

The man panics at the thought of permanently losing the lizard and the sweet fantasies the creature whispers in his ear. But he is tired of carrying him around. He dithers back and forth between the two choices. Solemnly, the angel reminds him he cannot kill the lizard without his consent. And yes, it will be painful for the man; the angel refuses to soften the truth. Finally, in anguish, the man gives his consent, then screams in agony as the angel's burning hands close around the lizard and crush it.

"Ow! That's done for me," gasps the man, reeling back.

But then, gradually but unmistakably, the man begins to be transformed. Bright and strong he grows, into the shape of an immense man, not much smaller than the angel. And even more surprisingly, something is happening to the lizard, too. He grows, rippling with swells of flesh and muscle, until standing beside the man is a great white stallion with mane and tail of gold.

The new man turns from the horse, flings himself at the feet of the Burning One, and embraces them. When he rises, his face shines with tears. Then in joyous haste the young man leaps upon the horse's back. Turning in his seat he waves a farewell. And then they are off across the green plain, and soon among the foothills of the mountains. Like a star, they wind up, scaling what seem to be impossible steeps, till near the dim brow of the landscape, they vanish, bright themselves, into the rose brightness of that everlasting morning.

I can think of a lot of areas of my life that follow this story. I've got things that I choose to allow to remain in my life, because I don't really believe I can get along without them. Sometimes I have the strength to choose, other times I don't. A lot for me boils down to how much I believe that that God REALLY wants whats best for me. I believe it in my head, but my actions show a different set of beliefs in my heart.