Season after season, year after year, you try to justify your absurdly high preseason ranking (clutching at straws!) Season after season, year after year, you scramble to make futile attempts at damage control when the Wolverines lose to a grossly inferior opponent(How'd Northwestern score fifty fouuuuuur?) Inevitably, you'll bring up the past, and boast of National Championships won 40 years before you were born (those were the daaaaaays!)
You will point out that you have more wins than any other program as though that is relevant to the current season (been playing since the 1870s!) Go on, ignore that home loss to your arch rivals in the regular season finale and continue to believe that you'll defeat your bowl opponent with striking ease (we'll win by thirteeeeeeey!)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Emperor of Excuses, and take comfort knowing that when you don't finish in the top 25, you'll be back to number three when the preseason polls come out next year (Mr.Delusional Michigan Fan!)"
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