Yesterday was Will’s birthday. Cathie cooked a big dinner, complete with a birthday cheesecakes and we sang happy birthday to him. In my family we have this odd tradition of phone calls on your birthday. There’s all sorts of intricate rules to this, and if you miss out, you’ll never hear the end of it. You get special bonus points for being the first to call on a given day – and for most of the people in our family, Will normally wins that one, and typically reminds me to call my nephews. Will has been pretty much unanimously adopted into our family, and has to abide by all of the rules of the family – including these.
Anyways, we had a small surprise deal for Will up at the South Lyon Hotel (the only drinking establishment in town) where about 20 friends showed up from as far away as Lansing to wish Will a happy birthday. I’m not sure if he was surprised, but it was a good time. Jason Shinn, Jessica Richeid, Noel Heikkinen, Bill Belanger, Mark Freier, Joe & Joann Muzzi, Bill Jarratt, Matt & Anne Calabretta, Sue Rankin, Mike Cornell, Ron Reyhl, Desi Defelice, and Katie Freier all showed up. The party wound down around 11:30 PM.

Last Friday, we went on our annual family Christmas tree expedition. Dan, Kris and the kids couldn’t make it because Andrew was sick, but I’m guessing the cold drizzle probably had something to with it as well. We got to the tree farm, where we rode the tractor out and found the perfect tree to chop down. Even with the crummy weather, it was fun.

We're doing our standard double-whammy Thanksgiving. Today we headed to my Mom and Dad's in Okemos, where my Mom lays out an amazing spread! We had a deep-fried turkey, which was by far the best Turkey I've ever had. We have three complete tables - one for the adults, and two for the kids. My Mom goes way beyond just maknig great food, she sets up the kdis tables complete with cloth napkins, nape-placards and wine glasses. After a couple of hours of watching football and hanging out, my Mom brings out no less than seven desserts. Beth, Jon and Dad's birthdays all fall during November, so we sing the Kurt family Birthday dirge. It's the saddest, most off-key version of happy birthday you've ever heard. Occasionally one of the kids breaks out crynig - no kidding. My mom welcomes everyone at our Thanksgiving, anyone who doesn't have a place to go is welcome - she called to make sure that Jack Bowden (Janet's husband), Jess (our roommate) and Jason all had places to go for Thanksgiving. Speaking of vagabonds, Will stopped by later on for after dinner drinks. Check out the pictures here.

From there we headed over to Cathie's parents in Dewitt, where we spend the night, and do dinner again. The other part of the Kurt tradition is to go Christmas Tree hunting our at the Tannenbaum tree farm in Mason, MI. More detail on this later.

I just got back from seeing the movie Elf with Will. That's two hours of my life and $8.50 that are gone forever. We were going to the movie largely based on Jason's reccomendation. It would have been alright if I had taken my kids, with the expectation that this was a cheezy christmas movie. Just about the only funny part of the whole movie was seeing the character who played "old Blue" in the mailroom. Even that's not so funny. Jason hates the Matrix:Revolutions, loves Elf. Go figure.

Elizabeth Taylor says Michael Jackson's innocent... Enough said. You can read Michael's denial here.

I just read an article in U.S. News and World Report that Herrings communicate out their butt through their flatulence. Much like some people I know. Is that considered a spiritual gift?

Odd links from Noel:

• Dancing Badgers being chased by snakes trying to eat mushrooms - All with a funky beat you can dance to.


• I'm not sure if the guy is serious or not...

Maddie's doing a little better. On Saturday, she'd told Cathie that she'd gotten all the tears out of her and mostly just had happy thoughts about Janet. She saw Jack in church on Sunday and ran up to him and gave him a great big hug, it was cool to see. She'd even worn her special skirt that her and Janet had picked out last time the two of them had gone out together shopping. . On Sunday, she told Cath that her heart was feeling "a little bit sad still". I wish I came out of this whole thing with some great parenting wisdom or advice, but all we did was hold her and love her while we let her cry and we gave her room to be sad. Not sure I could write a parenting book based on that.

Went to the gym this morning, early, and worked out with Kirk. Kirk's got some crazy stuff at his gym, and I made the mistake of asking him what a this crazy gizmo was. He gets this evil grin on his face, and next think I know I'm strapping this wheel on my feel and pulling myself around the gym like a parapalegic dog.

We went out with Mark and Jen last night. We went out to eat in Northville at Border Cantina, which I hadn't been to in about 8 years. I used to eat there 2 or 3 times a week when I lived and worked down teh street from it. Great Mexican food. From there we stopped by to see Jess at Starbucks and then on to the Salvation Army thrift store in Whitmore Lake. It's a great store, and we played the "pick an out for the other person" game (if that really is a game...). Jen and I picked out outfits for each other, and Mark and Cathie did. Cathie found Mark a nice lime green sweater vest and Mark found Cathie a crop top with a Janet Jackson reminescent jacket - complete with epilets. I had a beautiful matching crop top and space-age polymer vest and I found Jen a shirt that looked like a pack of juicy fruit gum. We had a great time with them - lots of laughing. We've known Mark and Jen for about ten years - they were the first people we got to know at Crossraods, and they went out of their way to help us connect in to church.

I spent tonight with the pyros (my junior high guys small group). We watched the extended edition of the Lord of the Rings - Two Towers - all 3 hours and 43 minutes. We ordered pizza and each kid had their own two liter of Mountain Dew. One of them commented how after drinking 2/3rds of the bottle that they'd stopped blinking. We cheered through the battle scenes and had a great time together. Half way through the movie, we went on a candy run. I feel bad for the parents that I sent them home to. About 9:00, the guys figured out what huge amounts of caffine does to the digestive system - as they all lined up for the bathroom. Lots of air freshener used that night.

Cathie and I went to the visitation tonight for Janet. Cathie put together some pictures that we had of Janet and Madeline and we gave them to Jack, Janet's husband. We shared with Jack just how much Janet meant to Madeline, and told him about some of the memories Madeline has of Janet. It was so painful to see Jack break down sobbing, crying out abou thow much it hurt, how it sucked, how it wasn't fair. Cathie just held him in a hug as he cried. Death sucks.

After lots of careful research and bargaining with Verizon, I bought the Samsung i600 phone and sold my Dell Axim Pocket PC to Jon. The phone allows me to receive all of my work e-mail, contacts and calendar information on the fly right to my cell phone, which will be nice - but maybe a little overkill for most. It has a full web browser on it, mp3 player and video player as well - it's amazing how you can actually watch pre-recorded tv shows on such a small screen with such clarity. We'll see how long it takes for me to get bored with this toy and move on to the next thing that will bring me life....

Another rough morning for Madeline.... She spent the first hour this morning with Cathie holding her while she sobbed. This sucks. Cathie and Madeline are going up to have some copies made of the pictures of Maddie and Janet to give to Jack, Janet's husband, at the wake today. I'm on conference calls all morning, and Maddie's sitting down here in my office, on my lap, cuddling with me, occasionally crying.

A friend of mine Bill (who happens to be my boss) made this video for work. Bill will be mocked heavily for this. He's been kind enough to forward these kind of things out to my friends and co-workers, and I'm just returning the favor. I'm trying to get my hands on the outtakes, which should be gold for future blackmail.

When I got home from the airport last night, Cathie and I told Madeline about Janet's death. We didn't know what to expect. Madeline broke down and we held her in our arms for an hour while she sobbed. She would stop for a minute and ask some amazing, insightful questions about when she would see Janet, or why God wouldn't protect her. It broke our hearts and we were crying too. This was one of those times where words just didn't do any good - a lot of holding Maddie and loving her. A little while later I went and told Nate what had happened, and he came in, put his arm around his sister and did an amazing job of comforting her, telling her that it was okay to be sad, and that Janet was in heaven with Jesus. The rest of the evening, she would cry here and there. She talked about Janet a little more throughout the evening, still very sad. This is one of those kind of hurts you want to protect your kids from - to take the pain from them.
I wonder if God feels this way about us when we hurt? I sometimes wonder if in his infinite knowledge is God able to rationalize our pain away because he has the big picture view of life? Does God weep when his kids hurt? When I became a dad, I thought I'd gained a new understanding of how God feels about his kids - and now I'm not so sure.

I just got done reading Psalm 18. It’s a song of David that he sung after God rescued him from his enemies. He paints this clear great of God as our protector using pictures like a rock, fortress and shield. David sings about how God will go to these great lengths to rescue his people, protects them and gives them strength. David uses the picture of God guiding him sure-footedly along a precarious mountain path. I’m trying to reconcile these images with three things. I’m reading Job, and I’m at the part where his buddies are giving him lots of bad advice, and Job is pretty bitter about God – trying to understand how David’s picture of God and Job’s dealings with God line-up. Secondly, I’m trying to understand why I’m so willing in my sin to walk away from a God who takes care of me and wants what’s best for me to the degree that Psalm 18 talks about. Third, I’m trying to understand all this to be able to justify in my mind this same caring God as I have to talk to my five-year about losing her friend in a freak car accident two days ago. I know there are lots of great biblical answers to all this, and my mind can rationalize all of them, but in my gut, they don’t line up right now

I screwed up when I set the time on the alarm clock in my hotel room last night. I meant to set it for Central Standard Time instead of Eastern Standard Time. I woke up at 4:30 AM, wide awake, and figured, no big deal, It's really 5:30 - I'll get up, work out and get some work done. I got to the hotel gym and figured out that it was actually 3:30 AM CST. That blew.

I got a call from Cathie when my plane landed in Kansas City yesterday and I immediately wanted to fly home. She was pretty emotional, and told me that a friend of ours from church, Janet Bowden, had died Monday night in a car accident. Cathie and I were not super close to Janet or her husband Jack, but our five year old daughter Madeline was. Janet was like an Aunt to Madeline. Janet and Madeline connected a couple of years ago – both red-heads, both with fiery personalities. It was the coolest thing at church – most Sundays, Janet and Madeline would see each other from across the hall and run towards each other and Janet would scoop Madeline up in her arms and yell, “How’s my girl!” She made Maddie feel like the most important little girl in the world. When Madeline was having a tough time going into her Promiseland class, Janet could drop her off pick her up no problem. Janet and Madeline would go on their special “dates”. Her and Maddie would go shopping together to lunch, and other fun “girl places”. A month or so ago, Janet took the day off and took Maddie to the Toledo zoo, after which they went out to eat, ran errands and didn’t get home until late that night. Cathie and I haven’t told Madeline yet about Janet’s death. We’re been pretty unsure of how to do it. I called a number of my friends with kids for advice and most of them had no idea what to do. Cathie and I did decide that we should both be there to have the conversation with her. I fly back this afternoon. We have no idea how she’ll respond, and it’s been tough with Cathie and I knowing and Madeline not knowing. Maddie was talking with Cathie last night off-handedly about role models, and mentioned how Janet was her role-model. In the same conversation she was talking with Cathie about death, and how sad it makes her when animals and people die. She’s been raised to understand heaven, and we’ve tried to teach her the happy and sad sides of death for followers of Jesus, but we have no idea how she’ll take this. I remember pretty vividly when I was five and my Grandpa Smith died. I want to be able to protect my little girl from the crap life throws at her, and I feel pretty helpless here. I want to take the pain for her and can’t. Cathie and I are trying to figure out what closure and grieving look like for a five year old – is it drawing pictures to remember Janet or is it attending the visitation or funeral to say goodbye? Most of it, we’re going to play by ear – but with me being away, it makes it harder to have to mull it over and over in our minds instead of being able to sit down and deal with it.

Will and Jason read my blog today where I pointed out Noel's review of 'the Matrix Revolutions' and I surmissed that they would change their tune regarding their own reviews to line up with Noel and myself. I was right. They now think the Matrix Revolutions was amazing and can't wait to see it again. They feel that if this thing doesn't take the Oscars in every category including best costume, screenplay, best foreign film, animated, drama, comedy they would be shocked. They had no idea how wrong they could be. What fools they've been! Sometimes they need insight beyond themsleves and luckily Noel and I are on the same page, and now they are too.