Dave Kurt's Blog

Two weekends ago, we had our annual guy's weekend up North. It's something we've been doing for the past 7 or 8 years. Guys from work fly in from all over the country and we get together to eat, drink and be merry, with some golf and corn-holin' in between.

This is tight group of guys. I've worked with some of these guys for 15 years (3 years at a previous company). We support each others careers and help each other out wherever we can. Many of us have worked for each other and it's half the reason we love our job. I just can't remember the other half.

It turns out that I'm a ninja in the game of corn-holing. This is way different than the kind of corn-holing my brother Jon does. This involves bean-bags and holes. I am as good at this game as I am bad at golf.


We stay at Bill's cottage up in Gaylord and we get some work done in between. There's nothing like looking around and seeing 9 guys with their laptops cracked open.

No caption for this picture. It's just plain odd.

This is the part of the crew. Kohne stayed back because his skirt was too tight.

We always mix some golf into things.

This little fella (he's 4'2" tall I think) trained me fresh out of college. He was a sales guy at my first company, ASG, and he and Ron showed me the ropes. Mike and I golfed together this year. He felt it was safer, as last year I ran over him with my cart.

I'm a pretty horrible golfer to say the least. Maybe I shouldn't have based my technique off of Happy Gilmore. At least I amuse myself.


This drive was my best shot of the day. I was 350 yards, so I figured I needed a picture.

This was one of the best years yet, even though Newton couldn't join us.

On Friday night, our church hosted a video game night for Nate's football team. We set up four video game systems on the big screen and had a bunch of tournaments throughout the night with Halo, Mario Kart, Madden and Guitar Hero.

At one point, things broke out into an all out game of close quarters every man for themselves dodge-ball. At first I was amazed that no one got hurt or ran out crying, but then I remember that these guys are football players.

It was a great night and a cool chance for our church buildilng to make itself available to the community. It was a good chance for the parents of the players to meet Joe and Michael. Thanks a bunch to Michael, Evan, Rodney and Brad who helped set everything up and run the tournaments.

Growing up, my parents always told us that they didn't care if we grew up to be garbage men, as long as we were the best garbage men we could be. In school, Nate took a career test. His results, in order of their fit were:

1. Boxer
2. Model
3. Fashion Designer
   
4. Garbage Man
5. Hockey Player
6. Big Time Wrestler
7. Nuclear Physicist
8. Football Agent
9. Soccer Player
10. Maid
    

1. Venture Capitalist
2. Film Director
3. Documentary Producer
4. Orchestra Conductor
5. Music Video Producer
6. Website Designer
7. Art Appraiser
8. Choreographer
9. Investment Banker

Saturday's football game was wet. Soaking wet. The only people I heard complaining were the parents sitting in the stands. The rain never let up and seemed to keep coming down progressively harder. I sat in the stands under an umbrella trying to take some pictures.


Without lightening and thunder, Nate's team played and Maddie's team cheered. The girls had so much energy and such big smiles on their faces, I was impressed that they kept it up.


It's so cool to see Nate improve week over week. He's getting a lot better at his overall offensive and defensive awareness - knowing how to be at the right place at the right time: not biting on the reversals, knowing how to run to where the ball's going to be instead of where it is. He continues to get better at blocking and tackling and as a receiver. He had a beautiful pass thrown to him in the end zone was tackled about two seconds before the ball could get to him. Nate couldn't get a pass interference penalty called to save his life.

I first saw this picture and couldn't figure out who this boy was.
Turns out it's my sister back in 2002.

I've been thinking about who I am today and the kind of person I'll be when I get to my 50's and 60's - when I'm an empty nester and a grandpa. I don't think it's something that suddenly happens when your kids leave the house or you become a grandparent. I think I'm on a certain trajectory right now with all of the decisions and priorities I make now shaping who I'll be at that point. But hey, I could be way off. I'm not there yet. These are based on no one person in particiular, but a cross-section of people I've seen do things really right, and really wrong - all probably doing the best job they know based on how they were raised and the card's that life has dealt them.

I figure I'll pull this list out in 20 years and make sure I'm still on track. Here's what I'm pretty sure of so far:

1. I'm planning on never trimming my already vast ear hair so I'm one of those old guys with a shrub on the side of my head.
2. I will wear lots of plaid shorts, goofy hats and hawiian shirts. No big change there.
   
3. I want to use the extra time to serve others. I want to use the knowledge and wisdom that I hope I'll have attained at that point to make the world a better place. I want to value the downtrodden, the least of those.
4. Instead of dying with lots of money and stuff, I want to go out having been generous and helped as many hurting people as possible.
   
5. I want to continue to stay connected with my family and make my siblings and nieces and nephews a priority. We get together for any conceivable reason right now and I hope that never stops. I want to still call every family member on their birthday, and continue to call all of my siblings on a regular basis.
   
6. I want to have lots of great traditions in my family and honor and prioritize those.
7. I want to be very connected with my kids. As my kids are older, I want to have the kind of relationship with them that is deep and mutual. Friends of mine talk about their relationship with their parents being one of the closest in their lives where they talk on a regular basis. I want to have that with my kids. I want to call my kids often and have them call me. I want to be involved directly in their lives and not think I'm connected just because I know what's going on in their life through a blog.
   
8. I want to make my grandkids a priority. I will not get so busy in my own life that my grandkids become an afterthought and I end up disconnected from them. I don't want to be the grandparent whom my kids say to their parents, "Do we have to go over to go see Grandpa Kurt?" Cathie's tells me stories of how much time she would spend with her grandparents growing up, including Saturday breakfasts, and even now you can see how much she loves spending time with them and they love spending time with her. That's the way I want to be.
   
9. I will stop driving when I'm the guy going 55 in the left-hand lane.
10. I don't want to grow old mentally just because I age chronoligically. I want to be the old guy who still lives life to the fullest. I want to keep doing new, exciting things and pushing myself to the limit, even when I'm old.
11. When I die, I want to go out big rather than aging gracefully.
12. I don't want to live in a self-centered universe. I'll never be that important or that interesting and I'm not worth being the center of my own universe. I want to be other-centered, seeking to serve and offer grace to those around me instead bitter condemnation to others.
    

I went for a run this evening at Kensington Park, doing the eight mile loop, and I loved it. After months of training for my half marathon and 10k, this run was completely different than any run in a while. Every time I've run for the past four months, I push myself. I'm constantly checking my watch, my pace, my speed and my cadence - trying to measure and be just a little better than the last time.

This run was different. I ran the loop without checking my watch, running at whatever pace I wanted, not beating myself up for slowing down to walk while I got a drink (I still haven't figured out how to drink something while running without getting most of it in my nose). It was nice to not be pushing myself to the point that I was hating what I was doing. Instead I ran and enjoyed it. I ran and took in the scenery and the sounds. The lake was beautiful and glassy as the sun was setting. I saw deer, ducks and cranes (the bird kind and the construction kind).

My run reminded me of the line from Olympic runner Eric Liddell in the movie Chariot's of Fire:

I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure.

As we hung sat at Frank and Erica's wedding, I had to do a double take on the Pastor. The guy was a slightly older and much more socially acceptable version of Pugsley (aka Ted).

It worked great until I mistook the fan switch for he light switch.

Yesterday was our 12th annual mud bowl. My Campus Life leader Patti invited me to the first one my freshman year in high school and when I started our junior high youth group this was our big kick-off event. Maddie came and brought her friend Maddie. The girls went in with the group of younger kids, who did a nice job of stirring up the mud.

We had cancelled it last week due to weather and the weather ended up being ok. This week we knew that thunderstorms were on their way and we figured we'd go ahead with it anyways. God took care of the weather and it held out until the last minute, at which point the sky's let loose.

Nate brought a bunch of buddies and they amused themselves with the porta-John while they waited. Only a group of middle school boys could amuse themselves with a porta-john.

Because of torrential downpour over the past week, the mud was in rare form. We came up with a new event that would never be sanctioned by an insurance company. We piled (or squeeged) the mud into a pile and did flips into it. No one died, so all is well.

Back in January I hit a wall in terms of just being tired of the way I was living my life in a lot of ways with respect to my relationship with God. I threw myself head-first into trying to under the idea of Spiritual Disciplines. For the next four or five months, I pursued this with a Pizzapolois vigor and I saw change deep in my life that I'd never experienced. It consumed me, in a good way. I would organize my life around around these spiritual disciplines, but not in a legalistic, weird, consuming way. I would gladly wake up an hour early to spend time in meditation, study and reading. I was incorporating different spiritual disciplines into my life in a way I never had. This was the focus of my world and it helped me prioritize put the rest of my world in perspective in terms of my marriage, my family, my friendships and my church. It became routine, in a good way and a bad way.

Around April, I got in a similar rut with my exercise routine. I changed that up pretty radically and applied similar discipline to changing things up. I began running and focusing on a pretty different style of eating, lifting and cardio and saw great results. For the first time in my life I decided to run in a race, two even. Slowly, around July, preparing for the race started to consume me. I began organizing my life around what I was going to eat, when I would run, soreness, preparation and reading about all of the above. I poured the same energy and part of my soul I was using for my spiritual disciplines and channeled it into running. In hindsight, if I were to chart it out in terms of time, thought and priority, it would all be pretty obvious how my priorities shifted and how that impacted negatively the same areas of my life that were going well. If I look back on my blog even, it's pretty apparent the shift in priority and focus.

When I first noticed, part of me felt stupid for what I let slip away. Part of me felt like maybe it would be too much work to re-focus things and had a tough time getting over the interia to actually do something. It wasn't even something I wanted to talk to my friend about for some reason. Maybe I'm like Moses with his veil and didn't want people to know that the glow had faded.

So here I am. Looking backwards. Knowing where I was, wanting to get there, but knowing that it won't be easy. To paraphrase Dietrich Bonhoeffer (yes, the same man who attempted to assassinate Hitler) in his book The Cost of Discipleship:

Grace is free, but it is not cheap. The grace of God is unearned and unearnable, but if we ever expect to grow in grace, we must pay the price of a conciously chosen course of action which involves both individual and group life. Spiritual growth is the purpose of the Disciplines.

We do not need to be hung on the horns of the dilemma of either human works or idleness. God has given us the Disciplines of hte spiritual life as a means of receiving his grace. The Disciplines allow us to place oursleves before God so that he can transform us.

We (the kids and I) have been talking about getting a puppy for a while. At Jon and Beth's Labor day party we saw the neighbor's dog, a Cavachon, and fell in love with it. Cavachons are two different kinds of dogs that I've never heard of put together (Bichon Frise and a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel) and are supposed to be great from everything I've read and everyone I've talked to. They don't shed and only get to be about 18 lbs. I'm a huge fan of our current dog Riley, who is a half golden retriever, half yellow lab mix at about 50 lbs.

We searched for breeders, and settled on the same one Jon's neighbors had gotten theirs from in Missouri. The puppy is 5 weeks old and we will be getting her in about 4 more weeks when she's old enough to travel and be separated from her Mom. This is what they look like full grown:

We haven't decided on a name. Most of the real cool names Nate and I have come up with (Achilles, Thunder) don't fit a dog this size or a girl. Cathie likes Rosie, Emily likes Goldie - but we really haven't decided. Any suggestions?

This morning as Em was getting ready for school, I told her to head up and brush her teeth. Her response was to strike this little hip-hop pose and say:
Emily: "Dad, it means 'Word'"
Me: "Um, what does 'Word' mean?"
Emily: "Ummm.... I don't know. I think it means I'm cool."
Me: "Ok. Word."

I got up about 4am and went for a run this morning. I headed out to run along the edge of the island my hotel was on and over the causeway. I noticed as I ran up the causeway that it was a bit windy, but didn't realize until I turned around to come back that I was running into 30mph+ winds. Fighting the wind was like pulling three kids in a wagon up-hill.

I had early meetings this morning at a customer site. Right outside the entrance to their office is this fountain and pond. While we were waiting to be let in, I noticed the beware of alligator sign, and sure enough, there in the background (just to the left and behind the fountain) you could see the alligator floating around.

Emily would have loved for me to bring this home as a pet for her. She would go crazy with all of the chameleons and lizards that run around here, not to mention all the crabs I had run across the sidewalk as I was out running this morning.

I've been working with one of our partners to try and build the business case for a very large deal down in Flordia. I've been in meetings the past three days with the president of this partner company and it's been fascinating getting to know him. He was born in China and received his PhD from Columbia and is now a Professor of Physics as well as the President of this company. We talked last night over dinner about the impact of his physics research on his companies technology and business modeling capabilities. His specialty is non-linear systems and it's links to cognitive functions like image recognition. The technology that they founded their company on began as DARPA (Department of Defense research group who really created the internet) funded research for targeting systems and ended up as a very successful technology offering. He shared his view of China hosting the olympics and summed it up with the explanation that "China just wants to be accepted by the rest of the world." Interesting.

Sitting in these meetings, I was impressed by his brilliance. He didn't say much, but when he did speak or ask questions, it was dead on, and always humble and kind. I've worked with a lot of researchers and technologists who are brilliant, and have no problem letting you know this every time they open their mouth. If I did an honest assessment of how often I speak and what my motivation is behind my words, it probably wouldn't be pretty.

I haven't traveled much this summer, which has been nice to be home on my own schedule. The downside of my lack of travel is not having as much face-time with customers and co-workers, which is where I think I'm at my best in my job. I'm back today and traveling sporadically over the next couple of weeks, with my travel probably picking up between now and the end of the year. My Hilton, National Rental Car and Northwest status levels are all shot to hell, but it's been worth it not to have to travel. Let's see if I still feel that way next year when I'm flying coach, driving a VW bug and have a hotel room next to the ice machine.

I'm down in Florida, North of Palm Beach, or work. The weather is hot,
windy and rainy an the Hurricane Ike winds came in today. They
provides a beautiful sun rise this morning so I'm not complaining, at least until the winds keep me from flying out of here tomorrow.

Nate and Maddie's team played Milford on Saturday (Nate played, Maddie cheer/pom'd). They lost and Nate felt like he had a pretty crummy game. I reminded him of plays like this where he was the first guy to bring down a fullback twice his size (Nate's the one the guys back).

Maddie's team did a great job with their cheering and pom routine. When they do the kick-line seen below, everyone is supposed to applaud, and they always do. Maddie was stunting, which means she's up on top of the pyramid of girls doing the tricks. This time I made sure to get pictures of her.

Nate and Maddie had a huge fan club there. My Dad and Judy, Kevin, Sooze, Ben, Allie and Gabe and Will and Moanca all came to cheer on Nate and Maddie, which was very cool.

Bender was pretty thrilled to see real football players hitting guys. The reason Gabe is the only person not wearing the helmet is because it didn't fit him. Susan learned the hard way just how sweaty a helmet can get.

Kevin and I ran in the Witch's Hat 10k run in South Lyon. This was our (Kevin and I are officially a running couple after doing our second race together) first 10k after doing the half marathon two weeks ago. Our goal was to do the race in under a 7:30 minute/mile pace and we did. I ran it in 45:02, at a 7:25 pace.

Kevin and I paced ourselves behind an old guy with a ponytail who looked like he knew what he was doing and how to pace himself. We passed a fair number of people and made pretty good time. At the last 100 yards, an old friend, Andy Hivley came up from behind and I didn't want him to pass me. He and I sprinted to the finish line with Andy beating me by 1 second. I finished 7th in my age bracket. Looking at the final times, you see that the only group tougher than my age group were the 13 - 16 year olds, consisting of the cross country team, with the average pace of around a minute/mile.

I enjoyed the 10k way more than the half marathon, both in terms of training and the run itself. The run was quick enough that I wasn't hating it and exhausted by the end, and I was able to run it without walking.

Here you can see Kevin, myself, Andy (now bald) and his wife Brenda. You can see the rest of the pictures here.

While Cathie was at lunch with Dana, we tried to get a bunch of stuff done around the house for her. While Nate mowed the lawn, I power-washed the deck and then tried to fix the toilet. "Fix the toilet?" you ask. "How did it break?" Now this part is funny:

While Cathie was cleaning the toilet, she was also replacing the toilet paper roll. Just as the toilet was in mid-flush, the spring-loaded toilet paper holder popped out and flew into the toilet and was flushed down. Being spring-loaded, it got wedged inside the toilet and the toilet wouldn't flush right. I tried to snake and plunge the toilet with no luck. I ended up having to take the toilet off (which was a nasty, nasty job) and still couldn't get it out of the toilet. I took the toilet onto the lawn where I could try and get the TP roll out and as I was moving the toilet, the lid slammed onto the tank and cracked the tank. We couldn't replace the tank because this was not a low-flow toilet, so we had to buy a brand-stinkin-new-toilet.

They put all of the toilets up high on the shelves, so you can't even sit on them and make sure they're comfortable. We asked about the different models and features and ended up picking out a swell new toilet without even one cool new feature. No remote flush, no automatic wiping or computer screen. Nothing.

What made it funnier was my kids excitement to having a toilet on our front lawn. They all wanted to sit on it, and of course we needed to take a picture of ourselves on it.

Needless to say, Cathie was very excited about her additional birthday gift.

Nate and Maddie ahd their first game on Saturday against Hartland. Maddie is part of the cheer/pom squad for Nate's team (#20 above). Maddie's team cheered and did the Pom routine at half-time.

Nate's team got smoked 33 - 0. Nate played on special teams kick-off, corner and tight-end. Hartland had a couple of big plays that broke to the outside and Nate was complaining about his team's coverage, until he remembered that he was that guy last year missing some of those big plays.

Nate's team spent the fourth quarter between the goal line and the five yard line, going back and forth. Nate had some huge tackles, never letting anyone past him, and Hartland never got across the goal line. Unfortunatley, the Panthers coudn't get the ball past the five yard line in the fourth quarter and their red-zone kicking game isn't quite there yet.

Emily brought this netting home from Jon and Beth's labor day party and turned it into an animal carrier. I saw her brushing her teeth with it around her neck and asked her what it was doing. Her response was:

Dad, I made this brand new animal carrier and it's really helping me brush my teeth better because I don't have to use one hand to hold animals.

As part of our last day of summer (and for Cathie's birthday) we had a fire in our back yard and hung out talking about our highs and lows of summer. It was a fun hearing about the kids favorite parts of summer:

Maddie - Spring Hill
Nate - Higgins Lake
Emily - Higgins Lake and Horse Camp

Today was Cathie's 38th birthday. That's right, I am now married to a middle aged woman. It's alright with me. She just keeps getting better looking every year. We started the day by making Cathie breakfast in bed and then trying to make her day special. Em's card was cute:

Dear Mom,
Happy Birthday! Hope you have the best birthday ever. Happy 38th birthday. I think that's young because you're not 50 yet. You look beautiful and you are the best Momma in the world. I love you more than animals (and I love animals a lot, they are like my favorite).

Love Emily

We headed down on Saturday to Jon and Beth's to hang out for Labor day weekend. Jon, Beth, Mike, Sarah (Koch) and Cathie and I headed out to downtown Grand Rapids while Tiff babysat for us. We went to a Tapas restaurant (not to be confused with a topless resturant) and then to the B.O.B. (bunch of bars). BOB is a four story building with different bars, restaurants and night clubs on each level. We hung out while Sarah took about 40 pictures.

The next day was the big party. With all of the Hawaiian shirts I own, you'd think someone would have told me it was an Hawaiian theme. Dan and family were very aware. Dan even wore a shirt that I got him twelve years ago.

There were lots of kids. As part of her birthday gift, Libby got to kick anyone in the stomach that she wanted to. It may sound like a weird birthday tradition, but Libby sure enjoyed it.

With the whole Crossroads/Grand Valley State contingent, Tiffany, Reagan and Stephanie all came over. Reagan and Reagan got to meet each other and my brother Dan tried to get someone to give him $20 to take his new earring out.

Beth misunderstood the gift giving thing. She kept opening Libby's gifts, trying them on and then criticizing people for getting her outfits that were too small.

It was a beautiful day and it was a fun time. My personal highlight was being able to joke about the movie Step Brother with my new-step brother Mark and step-sister-in-law Alicia (we discussed that this is her actual title). I was also able to introduce Sarah to the joys of Google Reader for blog reading and Picasa for photo editing. Sarah also told me one of the funniest stories ever about her experiences trying to meet people via Craig's List.

You can see the rest of the pictures here.